Totally Uninteresting Title

Food Obsessions

2012-01-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get hung up on a specific food, so that you eat it over and over until you're incredibly tired of it? I'm starting to do that. For a while, I had a serious sushi addiction. I'd eat it once a week for lunch (which gets expensive, I might add). I've moved off of that, and have moved on to a Thai food addiction. Again, I eat it once a week (much cheaper than sushi).

I find that I'll eat the same entree whenever I go out to eat, instead of moving around. I get a favorite, and I stick with it. I guess if I'm at a place where I don't have a favorite, I'll eat something from different parts of the menu. But if I find something that I seriously like, I'll just keep ordering it ad nauseum.

Case in point: When we were in college, we used to eat out at this restaurant in Moore, OK, called Las Fajitas. I always thought the name was super cheesy, but really enjoyed the food. We ate there often enough (and it was 30 minutes from campus, so we had to make a trek to get there) that the waitstaff only had to ask us what we wanted to drink, as we ordered the exact same food, all the time. If you're interested, it's their beef chimichangas. I drool just thinking about them. We've moved away, but whenever we go back to visit my family, we eat there. And, yes, we order the same thing. The waitstaff no longer knows us (it's been 16 years after all), but that's fine.

My husband has always had food issues, and eats this way, but I'm realizing that I have it too, to some extent. That's not to say that I can't eat other foods, or that I don't. I do. It's just that when I find a new favorite, I tend to stick with it for a long while. After that, though, I'll move around, ordering new things. It might take a couple of years, but I do it.

But I'm still ordering beef chimichangas when I go home.

Politically Incorrect

2011-12-19T14:29:00.000-08:00

So, posting this is probably horribly politically incorrect. However, I'm not so sure that it should be so.

On an internet forum that I frequent, someone has breast cancer. It has metasticized, and she is dying. She, herself, is a blogger, and seems to have a large following. I feel bad for her that she's dying, and her blog is for her to do with what she wishes. But I feel like I can't criticize it, because she's dying. Somehow, if I do, it makes me seem heartless and cruel. And, really, I don't read her blog, but did check on it a time or two to see how she's doing.

My opinion of her, as a person, is rather 'meh'. I just never saw us being friends, even before she was ill, but saying so now, makes me seem, again, heartless and cruel - like I have to be friends with all sick people. In the past, she has always been about image, even above comfort. She was constantly bragging on her (tiny) physical size (due to weight), the size of her boobs, etc. Even now, while ill to the point of death, she posts about her size/weight going in to the hospital, instead of just saying that she had gained X% or X pounds of water weight due to her illness. She didn't care that tanning herself leathery could give her skin cancer, and was always snarky to people who gave any well-meaning advice that she ought to avoid it. But I read an older post on her blog today, where she puts down people who try to offer comfort to her, due to her diagnosis. She has these 'snarky me' replies, when the comments that people make are not rude - yeah, some might be misguided, but that is mainly due to the problem of 'what do you say to a person who is dying?' issue. Her first post, right off, is being snarky to people who ask "is there anything I can do?" Instead, she says that people should offer to come over and clean her bathroom - just show up. In reality, if someone just showed up, at their convenience, say - in the middle of a family visit, or during dinner time - she would be angry that they didn't clear it first, even though that was her advice. People who make that sort of offer really want to help, but don't know what kind of help you need, so they leave it open ended for you to fill in the blank. For some reason, it really bothers me that she'd put down someone who was offering help, especially while insisting that she needs it, but doesn't want to express it because "'who would actually ask anyone for help? Would you?'" She talks about being treated normally, like she weren't ill. But her posts make me believe that if she were treated like a healthy person (i.e. work ability), she'd be upset because she should be granted some leeway due to her illness.

I find it all a double standard. But she is forgiven the snarkiness because, hey, she's dying. But if I were to express such a thing in response to her blog, or on that internet forum, I'm not forgiven because, HEY, she's dying. Even now, by posting it here, I court censure. We do share some of the same readers, because of that common forum. I'm just trying to point out the dichotomy in political correctness. It all has to be one-sided. It occurs elsewhere, in society, that one side must do all the compromising, or mea culpas, when the other side just gets to complain about being oppressed.

Is it wrong of me to speak out about the double standard? Is it wrong that I am not allowed to feel anger over something just because that person is dying? I guess it could be construed as a lack of compassion. However, I'm incredibly compassionate about the person being ill, but that doesn't necessarily negate that person's actions. It's not like you get a free pass because you're dying. Heck, I'll give you some personal leeway, but when you're advocating that everyone is heartless for making soothing comments, or attempts to cheer you up, or bolster your feelings, you've gone over the line.

Maybe it's just me.

Wow, Time Flies

2011-11-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

So, moving into a new house takes up more time than you'd think. We still haven't completely finished moving out of the old house. One of our friends called it a really nice storage shed. :) Most of the stuff just needs to get sorted and tossed. I found a home for some of the kitchen things, which is good. I'll box that up on Wednesday and give it away.

So far this year, I've been continuing to direct the children's choir at church. I'm trying to figure out how to exit doing that. It just takes up a lot of my time, and makes things more stressful for me at Christmas. The adult choir (which I'm a member of - and alto section leader) always takes a lot of time at Christmas, with multiple performances outside of church, as well as additional rehearsals outside of regular rehearsal time.   The children have a play that they do every year, and I have to direct them in their singing, as well as pick out the music. Trying to get the performance to fit in with adult choir's schedule can get rather hectic. For instance, in 2 weeks, the adult choir will perform at another church from 3-4:30, and the kids have their performance at 6. I have to be there at 5, so I'll be rushing from one to another. I had planned on not doing the adult performance, but am getting bullied into doing it. The choir usually sings 2-3 songs at that performance, and then all of the local choirs perform the Hallelujah Chorus (from the Messiah) together en masse. The choir director has given me permission to bail after our group is done. Yeah, that's going to be noticeable. However, there are a couple of others who have gotten roped into helping the children, so they'll have to leave with me, so it won't just be me.

On top of the concerts, and the play, the kids are going to be in the Christmas parade. I'll have to be on the wagon with them, as they are singing, and since I direct, I'm being told that I need to be there. My son will also be marching in the parade with the high school band. I kinda want to watch him go, instead of being elsewhere in the parade. I wasn't asked if I wanted to do the parade, I was just told that we were doing it. I'm still a tiny bit miffed about this one. I told the main Sunday school teacher that I was thinking about giving up directing the kids and was affectionately told I wasn't allowed to.

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My blue hair is gone. We've switched it to red. Having fun with it. I like it. I was ready for a change. We'll see how long the red streaks last. I think it's more socially acceptable than the blue was. And now my husband has to stop calling me his "blue haired old lady."

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Had an interesting interaction with my 19 year old niece. She's now pregnant. She got fired from her job, and she and her boyfriend got evicted from their apartment and had to move in with her dad. She's been a total bitch for the last 5 years, and she and I had it out on Facebook, as that's the only interaction. What's funny is that she gave a bitchy response to what was me actually trying to give her help. Par for the course with her. On top of all the crap that she said to me (saying that we were mean, because we teased her - blonde and short jokes- so she stayed away from all family events because of that - it had nothing to do with the fact that she would just go off in her bedroom at 14 and have sex with her boyfriend while the rest of us were in the other room), she had the gall to tell me that she didn't want to be around our son, because he was backwards enough, socially, that no one wanted to be around him. It had nothing to do with the fact that he's autistic, and, according to her, is due to our "bad parenting." She also had the nerve to say this where he could see it.    I'm hoping that she grows up with this baby. Otherwise, it's in for a very sucky life.

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I've decided that the Kindle Fire doesn't currently call to me. I don't like the fact that the home screen pulls up everything that you've looked at, or website that you've visited, for easier access. Say I went to a more 'adult' website on the Fire. There's no way to delete that from the home page. If someone else looks at your Fire, you have no privacy. That right there is a no go for me. Until they fix that, I'm not doing it. The iPad doesn't do that to you, but I don't need one of those to the tune of $600 or more (plus the monthly fee). I already have an iPhone, and this would be an additional charge. I wouldn't get rid of my Kindle, so it's just one more gadget. Yeah, they're cool to play with, and play games on, but I just don't see it being a gadget that is worth that cost to me. I love my Kindle. It's seen better days, as I currently have the 2nd generation. I've definitely gotten my money's worth out of it. I've asked for the Kindle Touch for Christmas. I have a feeling it's already on order from my husband.

Speaking of Christmas - my house is decorated. At least, the inside is. I'm rather excited by that fact. Last year, it was only a week or 2 before Christmas that I got things put up. This year, with the new house, there was the space. I also took the week off work, so I had the time to pull things out and not feel rushed. Our local schools get the whole week off, and it was my flex week, so with the holiday, I only had to take 3 vacation days and got to take 9 days off work. I was lazy for part of the week, reading my kindle almost constantly. I did catch up on some TV viewing.

Speaking of TV viewing, we had to get a new satellite receiver for the bedroom, as our DirecTiVo died. Since we have HD in the living room, we decided to go ahead and upgrade our bedroom TV and get an HD receiver for it. My husband has been spending more time in the bedroom, watching that TV as of late. It's a little bit bigger than the old one, and is much easier to watch. He's been watching DVD's of old Twilight Zone episodes. Every time he says he's going to the bedroom to watch Twilight Zone, I hear, "I'm going to the bedroom to watch Twilight." It takes a second for the Zone to click in my head. He is SO not a Twilight fan, so it just jars me whenever he says it. I guess that's a bit of a commentary on the popularity of Twilight these days that I just expect to hear that, instead of Twilight Zone.

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I'm still playing a lot of World of Warcraft. I'm just kind of biding my time until the new patch comes out. Right now, I'm farming reputation, which is about as exciting as it sounds. My alt characters don't have the gear to raid, so I'm not doing any raiding with them at the moment. My main character raids, but it's only 1 night a week now, instead of 2, until the new raids come out. The friends I used to hang out with all the time have stepped away from the game, due to their new jobs (3 of them to be exact), so I'm kind of lonely when I log in. I like the social aspect of it. I guess it's time to make more online friends in that game. Some of my other internet gaming friends are switching over to Star Wars: the Old Republic, but I don't know if I want to add another MMO to my gaming. I haven't played WoW long enough to get sick of it yet (been playing about a year and a half, and I haven't even switched factions yet), so I'm not yet ready to completely give it up. At least with the amount of time I've spent away from it, it just proves that I'm not addicted. :)

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Things that have not changed:

Still a procrastinator.
Still overweight.
Still playing softball, but I might back off on this one come spring.
Still an avid reader
Still singing a lot - my trio is doing a performance in May, and then one the following year, so I still have to practice for that.

Beyond that, my life is kind of boring.   Oooh, I did get a second monitor, so now I have a dual monitor setup for my PC. Yes, I'm just that geeky. :)

TAXES DONE!

2011-04-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

That was relatively painless. I guess things were a little easier this year. For some reason, it went much faster this year. We're also getting back more money this year than the previous year - almost double. Yay! I think it will have paid for our new furniture. :)

Procrastination - again

2011-04-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

No big surprise about me being a procrastinator. I'm currently downloading and installing the software to do my taxes. Yes, I've put it off until now. I also need to balance my checkbook and pay the bills. But those aren't fun things to do, so they keep getting put off. Now I understand why my son doesn't like to take a shower. It takes him away from doing fun things, like watch TV and play video games. At least I can get him to do his homework first thing when he gets home from school.

We're also planning on moving some things today, so I've got to get some things accomplished.

I'm Free! I'm Free!

2011-04-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not getting divorced. :)

I haven't blogged about it (at least that I can remember), and this could be part of why I haven't blogged much lately. I have a coworker who has been diagnosed bipolar. Shortly after she came to work in my office (and prior to diagnosis), she asked me a question. It was a very pointed, personal question, and seemingly came out of the blue. She asked me if I was a swinger. I was confused as to what would have led her to that conclusion. I told her that, yes, I was (if you want to call it that), but wondered how she came upon the idea to ask me. Turns out, she had looked at some pictures on Facebook of a group convention that I went to. She then searched that site about me (although my username is not my real name there) and found me. Then, she either read through MANY postings, or clicked on my blog link here (I'm guessing the latter). So, in effect, she admitted to stalking me online. I admitted the truth because I don't have anything to hide (and hiding it could cause me to lose my job), and pretty much moved on.

Over time, she has become more unstable. She had asked me if I felt she was, that I should tell her. So I did. That got me a complaint from her to HR, accusing me, essentially, of harassment (even though I had been her staunchest defender to others who had issues working with her). I was cleared of wrongdoing today, which makes me rather happy. She also told me that she is leaving in a couple of weeks. I wish her well (and if she's reading this - it's true). Still, it takes a load off my chest. I don't have to deal with the stress of tiptoeing around her, being careful of my words (especially now that she went to HR). I feel a little bit guilty that I was smiling (small smile) with the news.

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In other news - I've become a World of Warcraft addict. Yes, it's true. I have a Night Elf Druid (Balance/Resto) and a Dwarf Mage (Frost/Arcane). I'm leveling up my mage at the moment and am having an absolute blast. I've been playing with a friend in the guild, and he wants to do PvP with our toons that are at the same level. I agreed to do it, but I really want to level up the mage more. I'm enjoying it too much. I have a feeling I'm going to have to level up another toon just so I can continue goofing around with her (although I found out last week that you can turn off leveling up, xp wise, so I may just do that).

Playing WoW takes up a lot of my time, but I find it more fun than just reading the internet. I've pretty much stepped away from everything/anything hotwife related. I haven't played in that way in a couple of years, and I find that I don't miss it. I know my husband does, and he can still play. I've never had as strong a libido as he does, so I've always told him that he can go play, but he'd rather both of us play. He had an opportunity the other day (kid and I were in D.C. on a school trip), but it fell through before they could get too far. We'll see how things go on that front.

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I guess that's all I'm going to impart on that front. Gotta go log into WoW. If you're on the Feathermoon server, I'm agmystere/agmyst. Send me a whisper.

Dang I'm lazy

2011-04-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how much work it is to clean up a house. I think we're borderline hoarders. Realistically, it's just pure laziness, which amounts to piles of stuff that we need to go through and toss. Once we get in the mood, we actually get rid of stuff, but, being lazy, it just piles up.

So, this means that we still aren't moved into our new home yet. We were waiting on new furniture because we did not want to move a mattress that we just had to throw away a few weeks later. The new house has a dining room table, new sofa, and mattresses in it. It's got a bed frame (without mattress) and some miscellaneous odds and ends. Most of my books have migrated over, but the bookshelves have not.

What am I doing today to move? Nothing. I've got softball practice. What did I do yesterday? Nothing, except clean out some stuff in the refrigerator.

Dang I'm lazy.

Home Ownership

2011-01-22T10:48:00.000-08:00

So, we own our current home outright. We've got an almost 14 year old son. What do we do? We decide to buy a bigger house. He'll be going to college (hopefully) in 4 years, although may stay 2 years at local community college. So at the most, he'll move out in 6 years. Still, we want a bigger place. We have no room now for guests to stay, and our living room is just awkwardly shaped for visitors. We only have seating for 4 people, and there are 3 of us who live here.

Of course, we had to do things the hard way. We put an offer on a house that was a short sale. Took them 2.5 months to agree to it (although, that offer had been proffered by someone else, accepted by the bank, but fell through during escrow the week before we made our offer). Now the bank wants it closed in 30 days. Fortunately, our mortgage broker is doing their level best to get it done, as well as our Realtor. We might actually make it. If we don't, $75/day penalty issued by the bank currently holding the mortgage. Sheesh.

We'll need to do a little work on the new place before we move in - paint touch-ups, some cabinet cleaning. The tile counters are dated, but we won't be doing anything with those for a long time, due to cost and overall laziness.

Then comes the hard part - cleaning out all our crap, throwing away 15 years of stuff, and moving. Amazingly enough, we've had several people offer to help us move. They just volunteered. I thought that was awesome.

Why do some things take forever?

2010-12-15T16:10:00.000-08:00

Warning - rants coming. Hope you don't mind.

Our son has had some issues as of late again at school. They come and go, but the school is pushing real hard for "anger management therapy." His doctor says that isn't what he needs, so we're working on getting him another type of therapy. Like I've said before, he's being evaluated for ABA. They have visited his school, and the regional center has approved it. Now all we're waiting on is the therapists. They said it could take a few months for them to put a plan in place. So now that's just a waiting game.

The other waiting game? We're looking to buy a house. It's a short sale. It's kind of ironic, because they take forever. The homeowner is seriously under on the mortgage. The bank that holds the loan has previously approved a purchase price, but the byer backed out. It went back on the market, but we're waiting for the bank to approve it again (at the same price they approved it before). We put in an offer at the end of October. We're still waiting on the bank. They've decided that they need another, newer, evaluation of home prices in the area, even though the one that they have is only a few months old. Like it's going to suddenly increase to the point that they won't have to take the short sale. It's rather frustrating. We'd hoped to start moving in during Christmas break. Now it's looking more like Spring Break, and that's assuming that the bank decides to approve it. *sigh*

So.....a year, really?

2010-11-27T13:27:00.000-08:00

Holy crap. I'm surprised it's been that long. I get comments from time to time, so it doesn't seem that way.

So, what have I been doing? Much of the same, going to work, raising kid, singing, softball.

Work - same old, same old. I'm heading off to a conference in Orlando in a couple of weeks. So Disney at night may be a possibility. Looks like I'll get to hang with a pal one night when I'm there. No hanky panky, I'm sure, so don't get your hopes up.

Raising kid - well, after a good year at school, this year has been a bit rough again. He's being evaluated for ABA therapy, so we're hoping that does some good. It's time for me to start reading books again, learning about ABA so I can teach his teachers. Sometimes, it can be overwhelming. It's easy to bury yourself into something else for a while, just to escape.

Singing - well, there are these 2 ladies that I frequently sing with at church. One of them decided that she wanted to perform at our local museum (think very very very small). There are music events every month, I understand. I've never been to any of them. So, performing at the museum means you actually get paid. $150 for 2 hours (which ends up being 1.5 hrs of music). However, there's no way that our trio can sing that long. Our voices just won't hold out. So we'll take half of the show and share it with a string quartet. So, now we're at $75 for our half. We have to share THAT with our pianist. Less than $20 each. 2 of the 3 of us have not really paid for any of the music. The woman who really wanted to do this is the one that purchased boatloads of music for us to sing, and organized with the pianist to get all the music recorded so we can practice it. We're just going to let her keep the money, since she shelled out for the music. She's not even sure how much money she spent on music. She just kept buying it if it looked good. Heh. So it's taken up a bit of my time this year, practicing weekly. I ended up not playing softball in the summer, except for tournaments, because of how full my schedule was.

Softball - played a little this summer. I'm playing fall ball, which is just about over. The playoffs are going to be a bit cold, since they start next week. We'll lose out pretty quickly, so it will be over with soon. Still, I like the people I play with. They're fun. Who knows who I'll end up playing with next season. I'm not sure who else will take me, though. I gained back all my weight, so I'm fat again. But I CAN hit a ball well, and play infield relatively well. I'm not afraid of a guy hitting the ball at me, which goes a long way in playing infield for co-ed softball. :)

Leisure time - I've started playing World of Warcraft. I started playing in March/April time frame I guess. I'd thought about playing it for a while, but never did it. When my niece and her mom kept going on about playing it, I finally couldn't hold out. I've got 1 character at lvl 80 (hit it this summer). I've continued playing that character. I started another alt character, but I don't think I'll play that one. I started in the same starting area, and doing the same quests over and over again didn't interest me. I'll think about starting another one soon. I want to see how Cataclysm shakes out to see what kind of character I want to start. Heck. I'm still trying to get really good gear for my 80, and it isn't going all that quickly. I don't have the time to be a dedicated raider, and I"m not getting the good gear from 80 heroics, so it's taking a while. I've done a few raids, but for the big big fights, no one will take me because my gear isn't quite high enough yet. Vicious circle that.

On the tech front - loving my Kindle still. I was an early adopter and I still use it all the time. Didn't upgrade to the iPhone 4G yet. Still on 3GS. I depend on my iPhone, though. Won't be buying an iPad, though. I don't really have a need for it. I use my iPhone if I need to look up something quickly, read my Kindle for books, and if I'm on travel, I take my laptop. Speaking of, I bought a new laptop, and accidentally bought a behemoth. Didn't mean to. I thought I was buying the same size that I had before, but accidentally purchased the next size up. It has a full keyboard PLUS keypad. Yes, it's just that wide. :) To be fair, I actually use the keypad, so it's nice to have, but it makes for a heavy laptop. Oh, well. It's an HP for those of you who are keeping track. I've thought about buying a Mac, but I don't know how to link my other PC's up to it via the network. I'm not a networking person, so it's hard enough as it is with PC walkthroughs on the internet. Heck, you should have seen me setting up the router for WoW. It works , but I still get this error during downloading saying I'm behind a firewall, even though I set it all up the way I'm supposed to, as far as I can tell. As long as it works, I'm not going to worry about it.

Life - got the flu a few weeks ago. That sucked major ass. Oh, and I have blue in my hair. :)

Random musings - I wonder if part of the reason for me not updating this any longer has to do with the fact that my bipolar coworker stalked me through facebook, found another internet forum where I posted, and asked me if I was a swinger. I don't know if it is due to the fact that she read enough posts on that forum, or if she just read the link to my blog and came here and read. Either way, it was uncool of her. She fessed up, but she just looked at some pictures of me at a convention/party for that internet forum and researched it from there. That's crossing a line, and I don't think she is even aware of it. I've forgiven her, for the most part, but it's harder working with her. That combined with her behavior due to being bipolar makes work a bit tiring. I love my job. My previous group that I worked with, I ranted/vented every time I came home. When I switched branches, that stopped. I didn't realize how bad it was. Now that I work with her, I'm ranting/venting again and I don't like that. I'm trying not to hold it against her, since she has a medical condition, but it's hard. On top of that, she just views it as everyone is against her, overreacts to everything, sees things/motivations in situations that aren't there and overreacts to that. And if she reads this, she'll overreact to this as well. Fuck it.

Endings and Beginnings

2009-12-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

As the year is coming to a close, we've had and ending and a new beginning here in our home. We finally had to put our 14.5 yr old yellow lab down. It was time. They did it with dignity at the vet (did it outside, in the grass under the trees). My hubby took him, as I had to work. He's taking it very hard. All he can remember is the dog's final moments, and it saddens him. I don't have those memories, only descriptions of them, so it's a bit easier for me. Still, it's a tough time of year to have to do it. Our son wanted the dog cremated, so we're doing that. We haven't gotten his ashes back yet, but they'll be here soon.

In the mean time, the new beginning is here. I'd mentioned that I wanted a beagle puppy, and while my spouse wasn't ready to move on, he wanted to surprise me. So, I've got a new puppy. He was born on Halloween, and we brought him home on Christmas Eve. I figured Nightmare Before Christmas was an appropriate inspiration, due to the Halloween/Christmas connection, so I named him Jack. He's little, and our black lab/chow isn't too fond of him. The cat has just taken to hiding. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully it will get better.

The other new ending/beginning that has happened in my house has been the death of one computer and a new one. I'm still setting things up, and need to install a piece of software or two. But it's getting there.

So This is Christmas.....

2009-12-05T20:25:00.000-08:00

..... and what have you done?

Me, I got a haircut, and dyed a blue streak in my hair....It will kill my mom. I always wanted blue hair as a teenager, but she wouldn't let me. It will be interesting to see what other people think of it. My hubby gets turned on by it, so that's kinda funny. Since the blue is so new, it will leave marks on my pillow. Oh joy.

Still need to do my shopping and such, but I've got my tree up, so that makes me happy.

Speaking of my hubby, he mentioned that I had posted on this blog in 2004 that my old dog wasn't long for this world. He's still alive, but, again, really isn't long for this world. Interesting how some things change and some things stay the same.

I've had a cold for a little while this week, and my nose got very chapped, and is now quite scabby. It's kinda gross. I used tissues with lotion when I was in my office, but I was out in the lab, and didn't have any lotion ones handy, and the regular ones just destroyed my nose. I was so sad.

I got back from spending Thanksgiving with my family 'back home'. My aunt was in town from Arkansas. She drove me nuts. Her son-in-law is the world's biggest hick (with accent), but is as nice as can be. Spending time with my family made some of my old accent (as slight as it was) come back. It didn't stick. :) The trip home is what gave me my cold, I think. Some guy in front of me on the plane was hacking like mad. Makes me wish that I had had some Airborne before taking my trip.

My pc was going nuts earlier last week. It wasn't recognizing anything USB (keyboard, mouse) so it wouldn't respond. I wonder if it was part of the 'black screen of death' issues that came around after a Windows update (XP). It wasn't responding due to the hardware error, and had been a bit flaky for a while, so I broke down and bought one heck of a computer to replace it. Of course, there was another windows update after the break and my ordering the pc, so now it works again. Too late to cancel the new PC build. Oh well. I'll just get a new pc, I guess. I'll have to transfer all my stuff, so that will take me a while. Too bad I can't just wave a magic wand.

The funness of Christmas is all of the old movies and old musicals. It's been fun watching them. I realized that in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, at the end of the movie where Rudolph is getting to lead the sleigh during the snow storm, there are 2 missing reindeer. There are only 7, (6+1) instead of 9 (8+1).

During my Christmas decoring, I found that one of my deorations was broken. I was attempting to glue it back together with superglue, and the glue wouldn't cure. I tried blowing on it, with moist breath, but it wouldn't cure. So, knowing that water is the curative of that reaction, I just turned on the faucet in the sink and stuck it under the stream. It cured. I'm guessing that it is VERY dry in the house. Looking at the hygrometer, it's reading 22% humidity. The house has so much static. It's awful.

I think I figured it out

2009-09-25T07:02:00.000-07:00

I think I know why my leg got infected after sliding. My knee was a little cranky, too, but it seems to be fine now. Since there isn't a whole lot of water here in the desert, the city parks and rec department was using non-potable water to water the fields. The infield was watered between every game or two, to soften it up and keep the dust down. So, yes, I guess I was sliding in poo laden dirt. Now that I know, I'll have to scour my strawberries with hydrogen peroxide while at the ball park instead of waiting until I get home.

Accident Prone

2009-09-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

Well, yes, I'm accident prone. It's kinda sad. It runs in the family, though, so it can't all be blamed on lack of attention to detail.

The slide strawberry got better. Left an interesting brown scar. It's flat, but it looks like it's dirty, even though it isn't. I started wearing long socks and softball pants to protect my leg while sliding. Seemed to work pretty well. Well, that is until this past weekend. I slid into third. I was called out, which was annoying. It was very close, so it makes sense that I got sent. The ground really needed to be broken up more than it was, so it was very hard. I somehow managed to get my knee a little too much under me, so I have a scrape just below my kneecap. Not looking too pretty at the moment, so I think it may be trying to get infected, too. Same ball field, so if it's infected, it's probably staph again. I'm treating it with the antibiotic ointment that I had leftover from the previous slide. Good thing I saved it, eh?

Lots of softball this summer. Played up in Mammoth at a tournament there. Had a lot of fun. Stayed in a condo with most of the ball team. Nice enough, and we played rock band every night, under the frozen stare of a stuffed chupacabra. Well, not really a chupacabra, but a stuffed bobcat. It's tail and legs seemed too long to be a bobcat. It was kinda creepy. One of the guys on the team wanted to take it down from its perch and leave it in front of people's bedside so it would scare the crap out of them in the morning. It would be hysterical, until someone beat the crap out of it and our coach would have to pay the $500 deposit on the stupid condo due to the damage to chupa. Alas, we behaved.

We didn't do well in that tournament, but we did take 3rd in the tournament from the past weekend, so it wasn't too horrible. The only other softball injuries that I currently have is a seriously sprained middle finger. It's currently swollen at the first joint (near the tip - is that distal?). Some of the swelling has gone down, but it doesn't bend at all in one direction, and not as much as it used to in the other. Not sure what I can do about it, though.

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On the hotwifing side of the house, I did get some playtime in a couple of weekends ago. Met some friends in Vegas and had a good time. Really enjoyed myself. We didn't get out much, and ended up staying in the hotel most of the weekend. We did try to come up with a version of strip football. We had to tailor the rules as we went, because it didn't quite go as smoothly as we would've liked. :) Still, we had a good time.

While there, picked up the new iPhone 3GS. I'm really liking it. My previous iPhone went to the hubby. He's liking it as well. I was sad that the AT&T dealer didn't have the 32 gig version, only the 16 (which is what I had before). I can't get the stupid thing in town, so it was going to require a trip out of town to get one. I decided I could live with the 16 gig instead of the 32, as sad as I might be about it. I do like the new iTunes/iPhone interface, though.

Last weekend I had a coworker as me (outside of work) point blank if my spouse and I were swingers. I told her that we were (although that isn't quite how we define it, but close enough for the 'normals'). We don't advertise it, but we won't deny it. Kinda can't, with the whole security clearance thing. Can't be put in a position to be blackmailed. Still, I'm curious to know if she heard rumors (she said she did), but she also said that she did some research over some pics that I had that she had seen online, and found my alternate identity on an internet forum. Oh well. I knew it would come out sooner or later. We'll see how it affects things.

Memory Woes

2009-06-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Man, I'm getting old. Just had a birthday. Getting closer to that 40 milestone. Not very long now. One of the girls I play softball with thought I was 10 years younger, so that's a plus. I guess she ignored the fact that the skin around my legs just isn't all that firm (and neither are my breasts, for that matter). Still, it made me feel better, right before my birthday.

However, I am getting older. My memory has gone to crap. Not sure if it's due to the perimenopause thing or not. I just can't remember the things that I used to remember, and should remember. It's getting more and more frustrating. Due to those memory gaps, I keep making an ass of myself. I keep confusing the names of music artists, which is doubly embarrassing, as I keep doing it in front of music people. They just look at me like I grew a second head. I always end up feeling like such a dumb ass.

I guess I just need to accept the fact that I'm getting old. It's starting to become an issue at work, though. I need to get into the habit of making to-do lists, or notes, or something, for myself at the office. I don't recall conversations from the day before. If I weren't younger than 40, I'd wonder if Alzheimers is starting to set in.

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In other news, I've slid *twice* now for softball. I was so proud of myself for actually getting my ass on the ground. I was proud until I got into the shower. Then I just wanted to curse, as it burned like a mother. Two days later, I wasn't so proud anymore, as bewildered and frustrated, since my scrapes decided to become infected. I'm now on Keflex. I guess it could be a staph infection, but they didn't culture it. All I know is that it becomes really painful when I stand on that leg after being off of it for a while, and becomes moderately painful if I stand on that leg for any length of time. It's perfectly fine when I keep it propped up on pillows. Wonder how long that's going to last....

Fortunately, I don't have another softball game for 11 days from now, so hopefully it will heal enough to not bother me. I'll be off of antibiotics by then. I plan on wearing a guard and socks over the damage. I gotta protect it somehow. I promise, though, that if it gets nasty gross looking, I'll post pictures. :)

Gadgets of All Shapes and Sizes

2009-06-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

So, by the title of this particular post, you've got a pretty good idea that it's going to be about gadgets.

First and foremost - I need a new wireless mouse. I prefer the type that is rechargeable, as I don't want to have to change out batteries. It's annoying. I'm already having to recharge batteries for the Wii (my son seems to go through them at an amazing rate between himself and his friends). I'm going to have to find another plug in the house to have constantly recharging batteries for the mouse now. I love gadgets. You'd think that buying a new one would make me happy. For some reason, a computer mouse just doesn't give me the love that purchasing another gadget does. Maybe it's because the mice just don't seem to excite me. I was perfectly happy with the shape and design of my current mouse. Now, I have to learn a whole new one, with a different weight and shape. *sigh* Why does it have to be such work?

Second - still loving my iPhone. I've had it about 9 months now. Still enjoying it. I haven't gone app-happy, although I did download a few apps just for the heck of it. It's too fun stumping people with the Moron Test app. Cracks me up. Someone at a ball tournament showed me their iPhone - we were comparing apps during dinner. She had "cowbell" installed on hers. I almost want to install that app, just for the heck of it. I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy the moron test as much as I did, but it's been fun. There's been one app, though, that has saved my sanity. That is Kindle for the iPhone. Why? because.....

Third (last, but not least by any stretch of the imagination) - I killed my Kindle (K1) in the middle of a book. I've been on a mystery kick as of late. Mostly these lighthearted little mystery books. I've been enjoying them, though. Enough that when I accidentally broke the screen of my Kindle (had it a year) by fumbling it against the edge of my kitchen table, I went into IMMEDIATE withdrawls. It's all part of that book addiction. Once I realized that I wasn't going to be able to easily repair my Kindle, I bit the bullet and bought a new one within 30 minutes of breaking the old one. I had to wait 3 days (it was a weekend) for the new one to arrive. In the mean time, I was able to continue reading the book on my iPhone. Yes, I could've just switched to a printed book, but I would've had to switch stories. See, while I do enjoy the ability to switch off books if one isn't my particular cup of tea at the moment, I have a difficult time switching books if I'm really enjoying the one I'm reading. Hence the shakes. So, I've got the new K2 and like it, for the most part. There are some drawbacks to the new one that I haven't gotten used to, yet. I liked the wedge shape of the old one. It was easier to balance it in my left hand, allowing me to read one handed. I have a harder time balancing this one in one hand, comfortably. I've got to find a better way to hold it. In the mean time, I've already gotten a new case (since the new version doesn't come with one) and a new skin for it. I went a little more fru-fru with the skin (had a blue one that was a bit abstract). The new one is called Lilly. It's quite pretty. I got it mainly because it had many colors and it would match/complement the case. On top of that, I can pair it with many different cases, should I decide to get a new one in a different color/style.

Yes, I know. There's something wrong with me. You're just *now* figuring that out?

And while it's not electronic, I still kind of consider it a gadget. I got a new softball bat at the end of fall season. I wasn't able to use it until this year, but I like it a lot. Many people on my team seem to like it. One guy has purchased one, and a couple of others have thought about it. At a tournament last weekend, there were at least 5 people using the same bat. Well, not exactly the same bat, per se, as 3 of us had identical bats. Still, they were interchangeable (essentially - some might have been broken in better than the others). It was kinda funny.

Bleary, Blurry, Blurgh

2009-04-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, to start off a wonderful week, I broke my nose on Sunday. At softball practice, no less. Didn't happen in a game, but I was trying to practice the way I'd play in a game, so I took a throw in from the outfield that was off target. I didn't come off the bag (I play 2nd), and played it on the hop for the 'tag'. Instead of it hopping up into my glove, or body, it hops up into my face, breaking my nose. My glasses cut the bridge of my nose, causing it to bleed. Fortunately, it didn't bleed from the inside, but it bled, nonetheless. I finished out practice, surprising a few of my teammates. I'm a tough girl, though, so it's what I do. Heck, I didn't even cry. The guy that threw the ball has a heck of an arm. He used to be a baseball pitcher for the local college a few years back. He also dislocated one of my fingers a few years ago, just warming up with me. He felt really guilty about smacking me in the face. :)

My nose ended up seriously off center. Hubby forced me to go to the ER. I was thinking there wasn't much they could do for me. It's not like you can put a cast on it. They did a CT scan of my head to make sure more wasn't damaged, since the guy has a strong arm. Nothing more was damaged, but my sinuses were full of blood (according to the x-ray tech - he let me look at the scan). The nurses teased me, mercilessly, especially the triage nurse. He gave me such a hard time. We laughed our butts off. They gave me good drugs (shot in the ass). Every time I put the ice pack on my nose, my left nostril caved in, keeping me from breathing. After that, the doc reset my nose. It let out an audible "pop" when he re-centered it. Impressed the hell out of the doc, though. He said that I didn't hesitate. I think it surprised him.

My nose is still a bit off center, and I have a black eye and a bruised nose, as well as a couple of scabs from the cut. I think my glasses dug a divot into the side of my nose, so that's where most of the discomfort is coming from - especially when I wear my glasses. I've got contacts, and could wear them, but I can't wear them at work. My regular glasses aren't that heavy, but my work glasses are, as they're safety lenses, and are quite thick (I have a coke bottle for a right lens). Those hurt more. Can't take my pain meds, as they're narcotics, and I can't play with explosives if I'm on narcotics. So, I'm toughing it out. At least I don't have work tomorrow.

I've already played 2 softball games since the smack (won one, lost one). I've got a tournament this weekend that I'm playing in. Still haven't gotten in to see the ENT to have her look at my nose. There's a part of my nose that seems to get a bit 'crunchy', but I just pinch it and smooth it back down, and all seems to be fine. Doesn't that just wig you out?

I'm supposed to sleep a bit more upright, keeping the swelling down, and it's working, for the most part. Most of the swelling is gone at this point. But I'm not getting to sleep, as hubby's work phone keeps calling in the middle of the night. It's sort of an on-call deal. However, he's out of town for work, so I have to acknowledge the call. Still, it called every 45 minutes last night. All. Night. Long. For the last 2 nights. So, now I'm very, very tired. I'm also trying to get over a cold/viral thing, so I NEED that rest. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get to rest tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm tired of being the mean mom

2009-04-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting tired of having to be the enforcer with my son. It's becoming a daily battle just to do homework, practice his instrument, clean up his toys, etc. I've had to become the mean mom just to get him to do his stuff. And it's not that I'm mean, per se. I just have to raise my voice, and threaten him (loss of privileges, bad grades, etc) just to get him to accomplish anything. It's getting old and I'm getting tired of having to do it. There's got to be a better way.

I get this constant litany of "I know, mom!" whenever I remind him to do something. But if I don't remind him, I get "I forgot." Damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

Finally, I just told him that I don't care anymore. He can do whatever the heck he wants to do. If that means fail, then so be it. However, if he chooses not to practice, he no longer gets those private lessons that he asked for for months. And, even when he does 'give in', I get this exasperated "Okay! Okay!" coming out of his mouth every freaking time. I'm on the verge of giving up. He's got to learn to do things for himself, and not for me. Otherwise, when he gets older, and is on his own, without a nagging mom, he won't do shit.

Yesterday, he told his dad that he wants to be put up for adoption. All because his dad was paying attention to the friend that he had over to play. They were talking music artists (that my son didn't have an interest in), while my son chose to play Harry Potter Lego on the computer (ignoring his friend, who doesn't like Harry Potter stuff, of which my son is aware). We try and try to explain, to teach him how to be a good friend, but it's obvious he doesn't care to learn. Every time we remind him we get "Okay! Okay! I get it." It doesn't seem to sink in. I don't know what else to do. Just at my wits end this evening and it all just is getting to me.

Soon he'll be starting his behavioral therapy. Maybe we can get something else going on here to make this better. I'm sure my son doesn't enjoy having a nagging mom. It just seems to be the only way to get him to do ANYTHING.

Book Addiction Pt. 2

2009-04-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

So, I know I've mentioned my book addiction here before. I may have mentioned that I got a Kindle (K1) last summer. So I've had this thing for 9 months now. I've got to say, I still love it. I have several friends that have gotten rid of theirs to get the updated version (K2). The side buttons look like they'd be much less likely to be bumped when handing the unit off to someone else. Aside from that, that's my only complaint for my current Kindle. It's not enough for me to trade it in for an updated one.

That being said, I still have a propensity to purchase too many books. It's really easy to buy them now, so it's difficult to hold off. I'm waiting for some of them to go down in price (the 'paperback' price instead of the 'hardback/new release' price). Some books, I'm still buying in dead tree form, as they are part of a series (and I have all of the series already in dead tree format - I'm a bit of a purist). I read books over and over again, so it doesn't bother me to purchase them instead of going to the library.

Still, I've purchased way too many, so I downloaded some of the free ones from Amazon. They were those Silhouette romance novels. At least there was no worry about some torrid picture on the cover.

What I find, though, is that, much to my chagrin, I keep reading the Twilight books. What is wrong with me?

Life keeps you busy

2009-02-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how fast life moves. I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I had updated here. The tattoo healed nicely. I probably ought to take a new picture just to show what it looks like now. My parents came to visit. My mom hates the fact that I had a tattoo, and then I got this one in addition. She doesn't mind the artwork so much, since she's into music herself. She just minds that it's "so big." Her other comment? "At least it's not a tramp stamp." :)

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In the mean time, we've been struggling with issues with our son. He's in a regular placement at school, but he's been having more and more problems as of late. He gets upset at something and just lashes out. He's threatened to stab a kid with a pencil, *did* stab a kid with a pencil (it was a mechanical, and barely marked the kid - it was also a friend who then accepted his apology afterward), and then shoved a kid in class (who was bullying him) and got upset when the teacher came over to question him, shoving and knocking over equipment (in band).

We thought we had most of that stuff sorted out, and he was going to go back into band class (he took a couple of weeks off) until the teacher filed criminal assault charges against my son (he was 11 at the time, just turned 12). He was questioned by the police officer, who then decided that the whole thing was bogus and that she shouldn't have even had to question him. She was very gentle and we appreciated it. Still, it was traumatic. He had a couple of new incidents in class this week, so he only was in school 2 out of the 5 days (for the complete days). Something is going on in his PE class (first period) which seems to be setting him up for upset in the next class. Either way, it's frustrating. We were going to hold him back from band, since his teacher is afraid of him (and if he can't maintain control in other classes, she's got a point). The administration was agreeing with that (or suggested it to my husband when he picked up our son on Friday and we agreed with them). I talked with his special ed teacher last night, and she said that they had a meeting about it. One of the members of the group felt like he *should* go back. They had promised him that he would get to go, and since he didn't, that person wondered if it broke his "trust" with them, since they broke their promise. So he's getting to go back. It scares me, him going back to a class where a teacher now obviously hates him. It was his favorite class, though.

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On the personal front, I've lost 63 pounds over the last 10 months. I've got about 18 to go to meet my goal. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm playing softball again this season, and we have practice today. I'm feeling pretty good about that, too. I'm moving around the bases much quicker, which is nice. I still need to have surgery on my other knee. I'll probably do it this fall. I need to build up some sick leave (and wait until summer softball season is over - although I might wait until after fall season since I might heal faster due to the lighter body weight). My surgeon should be happy due to my weight loss. It should help prevent me from needing full knee replacements earlier than it was looking. He was saying 10 years, and I really wasn't looking forward to having them done in my 40's. That's just a tad too young.

On the work front, things are going pretty good. I should be getting a couple of patents soon, which is exciting. I have to go present our work (I work as part of a team) at a conference in a month and a half from now. I need to go buy some new professional clothes, since my older ones no longer fit. I'm waiting until I get closer to the event.

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Various rambling notes: my cat is annoying on weekends. He doesn't like it when I sleep in, since he wants me to feed him at daybreak. He will sit there and meow with ever breath for 5 minutes straight, trying to get me up and out of bed. I shoved him off the bed once (he fell, since he has no tail and can't land on his feet - he landed on the dog instead). Second time, my husband threw something at him, to try and get him to shut up. Didn't work. I eventually got out of bed, but I would've loved to have slept in more. Now, he's curled up in my arms as I'm trying to type, purring and giving me dirty looks if I type too much.

I got a new softball bat. I like it very much. It's a Freak 98. I think I'll hit well with it this season. I think several members of my team might hit with it as well. We'll see.

I went to NYC during New Years and I came home with a Muppet. FAO Schwartz has a build your own muppet thing. I'm such a dork. I used to do puppetry in high school (at my church) and had a blast doing it.

I have a hat addiction. When my grandmother passed away this summer, my mom and my uncle gave me my grandmother's hats. I have her silver belly stetson. Mom had it cleaned and blocked for me. I now need to reshape it. It's a gorgeous cowboy hat. I won't have many places to wear it, but I still will enjoy it. Now I need to get some boots again. After I had my son, my cowboy boots no longer fit (my feet got longer), so I had to give them away. I miss them, though. They were pretty. My grandmother's boots didn't fit me - too narrow and my high arch wouldn't fit into them. My niece inherited her spurs and belt buckle and wore them to a national horse show (where she won). Pretty awesome.

I'm rewatching Buffy. My son has been watching it with me this time around (he was too young before). He's enjoying it, I think. We're in season 3 (I just skipped over season 1, so he didn't see that with me).

I am liking the new TV that I got for Christmas from hubby. It's a ginormous widescreen HDTV. I'm liking it a lot. So is my son. He named it "Harry Davidson" for HD. :)

My old dog is getting older and probably won't last the year. Of course, I said that last year. This year, he's on a special diet and 2 medications. Still, he seems happy, even though his joints are stiff and sore (he takes arthritis meds for that). We'll see.

And now, I guess it's time to bring this one to a close. Not a whole lot to say, really, but that didn't stop me from saying a lot of nothing.

New Tattoo

2008-11-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

So, I went to get a new tattoo on Friday night. It's of music notes and symbols. It also covers half of my back. All in all, it took about 4.5 hours to get it done. I did it all in one session. The guy tried to keep from spending too much time in one area. I did pretty well with the pain until about the last half hour to hour. At that point, he was gong over old areas that he'd already done, cleaning them up and filling in spots (it's all in black). That was when I was not handling the pain as well. I was sitting backwards in the chair, so he had access to my back. I know have a bruise on my left thigh from hugging the chair hard. My neck was stiff yesterday, but it's fine now.

It doesn't hurt like I expected it would at this point. I'm wearing a bra over it (too much grandma boobs to go without) and that isn't bothering me. I feel more irritation when putting Aquaphor on it (supposed to be good for healing). I didn't have much blood seepage, and it hasn't scabbed. I'm beginning the onion peel stage, as I can feel them forming, but it's rather flexible and feels good (as long as I'm not touching it). I think it will look awesome once it's fully healed.

In the spirit of letting you know what it looks like, here's a picture of it. It's from that night, after my shower and with Aquaphor on it. Not too terrible, all in all.

It's time, once again, for the next installment of....

2008-10-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

.....the days of my life. :)

I get busy and get lazy, so I have a tendency to forget to post around here. At least I try to make it a monthly 'thing', but even then, I tend to forget.

So, what am I doing these days? Going to work, getting haircuts (my eyebrows need some work at the moment), losing weight (47 pounds gone as of this morning), and generally living my life. My son is having some difficulties at school, though. He got suspended for 2 days, due to losing his temper and headbutting and then hitting the kid who kept hitting him in the head with a dodgeball in P.E. Why do they give kids weapons in P.E. and then targets? Yeah, a dodgeball isn't that much of a weapon, but to a 6th grader, it is. Due to his 'issues', he has poor balance and body control, which just screams "weak" and makes it easy to hit him. Add some testosterone to that mix, and you get bullies. He'd had some issues earlier the previous week (kid called him a retard and he threw his shoe at kids, hit the kid who called him a retard, and ended up getting pushed down and got hit in the ear, rupturing his ear drum - still has a hole, btw), the school changed his schedule. He's now in a different P.E. class, which is smaller and has a paraprofessional in it. Things are better.

The kid also had issues in science (he was failing, and this is a kid with an incredibly high IQ, and great test scores), so he now has a 1-on-1 aide in that class, as well as help in his history class (he has problems with reading comprehension due to his developmental disability). His resource teacher (i.e. special ed coordinator) seems to be doing her best to get him the help he needs. I'm much more satisfied with this teacher and this school. The kid is doing better than I expected him to do, emotionally, which makes me happy. Hopefully, this will fix all his problems.

Myself, things aren't going too badly. Work isn't that busy, as we're in the beginning of the new fiscal year and the research dollars aren't here yet. We're trying to keep going with fill in stuff here and there, so hopefully we'll be able to straggle along until dollars show up. The funness of being in research. Still, I like my job and I think I'm good at it.

In other news, I'm mourning a bit less for my grandmother. I saw an episode of CSI today, and there was a funeral in it. It didn't make me think about my grandmother, which is surprising. I have a penny of hers in my pocket. It's 101 years old and it has some sentimental value for me. It doesn't have much in real value ($1-5), but it is something my grandmother wanted to keep. I'm going to be seeing a guy who made my wedding ring (hand carved and cast) and see if he can make me a neat pendant out of it. My husband mentioned to him that I wanted it as a necklace, figuring the guy could just order me a generic coin 'holder' for it (I've seen several of these as necklaces), but the guy told him that I might as well have something "pretty" designed instead of something boring and generic. Gotta laugh at that. So, the coin is in my pocket and I'll be seeing the guy tonight. We'll see what ideas he has.

All this weight loss makes buying clothes fun again. I bought some cute pajama pants last night, in a size L. I felt giddy. :) Still, I have a hard time finding bras. Right now, I'm currently wearing a 34DDD. I don't get it. When I weighed this weight last time, I was a 34D. When I gained weight, I got to a 36DDD, and now am back to a 34, but the cup size didn't go down. I wouldn't mind it so bad if my boobs were perky, but they're not. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find 34DDD bras? On top of that, if you order them online, you frequently find that the bra that is shipped is a "minimizer" but you saw no reference to that fact on the website. Those are uncomfortable. If the bra isn't constructed right, my boobs try to 'crawl' out of the cup, as they aren't perky. They cannot defy gravity. If there is any way for those puppies to escape, they will. Living in a small town means that I can't just go to the mall to get a bra. I either have to drive 90 minutes out of town to find a mall, or I have to order online. *sigh*

Weird moment

2008-09-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

I had a weird moment yesterday. I opened a new 12-pk of diet Dr Pepper. The new cans are designed to look like a football. They have this dot pattern on them, and laces painted on the can. Freaked me out the first time I saw it.

I guess it's time for football.

Go SOONERS!

In other news, I got a new phone. Went to the AT&T store and got a 3G iPhone. It's pretty sweet. Yes, I'm a gadget queen. Can't help myself. I already have 2 iPods (both nanos, believe it or not). One is a 1st gen and the second one is a 3rd gen. However, when the iPhone came out, I was all excited. Part of that is due to the larger screen (plays widescreen stuff). I also wanted the GPS capability. Our current car GPS unit got fried last year, and I'm quite sad about it. And the phone has a feature that I wished my iPods had - a 'sleep' timer. I can play music and it will shut off after a certain set time, which will save battery life. Makes me very happy. Makes my husband laugh at me. Oh well. :D

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I was cleaning the kitchen the other day and came across a pile of Christmas cards that were stacked underneath some stuff. Yes, we're slobs. :)

However, one of them made me cry a bit. It was a Christmas card from my grandmother, to my son. It made me sad to see it, but very glad that I was a slob and still had it. I placed it into the bible that I brought home from her house. It was her study bible, and she wore the cover off of it. Still, it was hers and had things from her in it, that she kept, or that she thought was important. One of them was the lyrics to a song that we used to sing at her house. I wrote those words when I was younger than my son is now. My grandma loved me. You could never doubt it. It sneaks up on you from time to time. This weekend, when clearing out contacts (and editing some), I came across the contact for her. I felt sad deleting it from my phone. I'm sure it will get better over time. It's been almost 2 months now. Moving away from home helped take away that pain, to some extent, since I didn't see her all that frequently. Still, I wonder if I should write down my memories of her, things to read and remember.

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I have a goofy cat. He likes to lay in my arms, but only when I'm typing on my keyboard. He circles the keyboard, getting between it and the monitor, and eventually decides to lay down, on my arms. Then, he purrs, like it's the most wonderful thing in the world. He eventually looks annoyed, because my typing is jarring his perfect laying down opportunity. Silly kitty.

The Things We Save

2008-08-01T20:47:00.000-07:00

My grandmother just passed away. She was 94. She was an incredibly loving woman. She'd tell you she loved you within 5 minutes of meeting you. And she'd feed you. I spent one summer with her and gained 30 pounds. I didn't have a weight problem before then, but I did after that summer. Food was how she showed her love.

We were going through her house, looking through her stuff. My uncle wanted my sister and I to take things that we wanted, before his wife and son went through and wholesale tossed stuff. My grandmother didn't have much in the way of belongings. My mom thought it was incredibly sad. I told her that my grandmother gave away everything. She didn't have a need for *stuff*. She had a need to take care of others. If she had something, she'd give it away. Still, there was things that she'd kept. ALL of it was sentimental.

My sister took things that would have a purpose aside from memories (dishes/stuff for her 5th wheel, and a serger). She did take my grandmother's cowboy boots. They'd probably fit my feet, but I couldn't get my calves in them.

I took memories. And hats. I came home with this great little mink 'hat' and collar. Her cowboy hat was too small, but my mom is having it stretched, blocked, cleaned, and a new band put in. She's sending all sorts of things that I couldn't take with me - darned plane ride. I have pictures that were of me and my grandmother (and her twin sister) in Cozumel when I was 10 (they were 70). She also kept spare change from that trip - so I have her old pesos. She kept British pence from her trip to London. I have all of her old gospel hymnals that are crumbling away. She took me to church when I was a child, and I have fond memories of those old-time gospel hymns.

I took back a mug that I gave her (it has our tribal seal on it). Inside it was a buckeye. I have that, too. I even have a hat that was part of my uncle's Army National Guard uniform that she had kept.

She kept everything from old newspapers (one from Kennedy's assassination), to old aprons (the type that used to be worn for fashion), to a hundred different recipes written by hand (stuffed in coffee mugs), to jars of old, canned fruit, to notes that my sister and I wrote when we were children (one of them was the lyrics to John Denver's "Grandma's Feather Bed").

Why do we keep the things we keep? Is it memories? Is it future usefulness? Is it stubbornness? Laziness? I wonder what my house will say about me when I'm her age. Will it have great memories? Will it have useful things to pass on? Will my son (and hopefully a wife and children) look back on my things and smile as I did with my grandmother's things?

I'm a sentimental person. I have things and memories. I'll put my great, great grandmother's cast-iron tea pot most likely next to the cedar chest my deceased uncle made when he was in school (he passed away when I was 10 but we had a great relationship). I'll wear my grandmother's cowboy hat for the hell of it and smile, remembering the loving woman that she always was. And I'll remember one of things that she said to me (and my family), time and time again, "I worship the ground you walk on." And, hopefully, I'll smile.

Two months gone

2008-06-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Wow. I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've updated things. Had a birthday. Got a great birthday present. Apparently, the way to get a great present is to give a birthday list to your spouse, and then go out of town. They get lonely, and buy you the high dollar items on the list. :D

Which is how I got a Kindle. I love love love it. I've downloaded several books, and have already finished 3. I'm such a reader. It's one of my addictions. This way, I can keep the addiction under wraps, to some extent. My spouse won't see a buildup of books around the house. It will be great when I go on travel. Less books to carry. If I was gone a week, I'd routinely bring 5-6 books. I'd usually finish 1 or 2 of them on the plane ride (each way). It will be a nice thing to have.

My only complaint about it is that, when people want to look at it, they invariably turn a 'page' when I pass it over. No worries, though. I always set a bookmark before I give it to them.

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I've gained some weight over the past several years. I had lost 70 pounds and kept it off for a year. Later on, my son was diagnosed autistic and we were stressed out in a big way. I started putting weight back on, and just gave up trying to keep it off. So, I gained that 70 back, plus 10 more. I'm taking it back off again. I'm 24 pounds down, as of this morning. So yay for me.

Old addiction - new again

2008-04-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

I have this thing for hats. I have many baseball hats that I wear, with a ponytail sticking out the back. But I also like fun hats, floppy hats, beach hats, Kangols, etc. I brought back a fedora from London a couple of years ago.

My first hat purchase was a tan felt derby that I purchased at a vintage shop. Unfortunately, it was slightly too small, so I ended up giving it to my mother. It was the cutest thing. I was sad to see it go. But that just started off my hat addiction. I have this silly hat that looks like a cross between a fez and a tam. It's shorter than a regular fez, brocaded/embroidered, with a short yellow tassel on top. It's a replica prop from the Harry Potter films (Dumbledore wore it). I actually wore it to work. Couldn't help myself. I've got denim beach hats, a really cute mickey mouse baseball cap as well as one that has Bashful (one of the seven dwarves) on it (so totally not my personality).

A few years ago, I was in Kansas City, with a close friend of mine. We were going out to listen to Jazz. I told him that I needed a hat. For some reason, I just felt that I needed a hat to complete the outfit. We never got a chance to go hat shopping. The hat I picked up in London would have worked, but I got it after my KC trip. I'm going out again this year. This evening, while out shopping for a battery and some glue, my trip took me to the local pharmacy. They had fedoras of several different colors and patterns. I found the perfect one for my trip. It's black, with white pinstripes, and a silver buckle. It will be perfect. Now all I need to do is see if my black polka dotted skirt still fits.

I'm going to Kansas City. Kansas City here I come.

Vacation at the 'rents

2008-03-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting up here, on the parents' pc, waiting for mom to come up and ask what I'm doing, and read over my shoulder. I've read a bit of CNN, told dad that he needs to install Avast, and put on a pair of socks. Other than shower, get dressed, and eat a sandwich, I haven't done much else today. When I tried to help mom with the crossword puzzle (at her request), she kept talking about all of the words that she was haivng difficulty with (she usually has no trouble with it) that she was preventing me from actually concentrating and help her. I gave up and walked away. Then, I started reading a book, and she proceeded to interrupt me to tell me that I was here on vacation and I could do whatever I wanted to do, and if that meant reading a book, then so be it. I looked at her and hoped that she got the irony of interrupting my reading of a book to tell me that I could read it. :D

It's interesting looking out the window above the porte cochere and watching geese fight in the pond across the street. Staying at the "manor house" is certainly interesting. I feel like I grew up in this massive house of privilages, when, in reality, I didn't. But it makes me feel snobby and shallow all the same. But here is how far from reality that I am at - sitting upstairs in a 4000K+ sq ft home, looking at the mercedes and LandRover in the garage, listening to someone plink on the grand piano in the formal living room and wonder how the hell I got here.

I keep expecting the maid to come and ask me if I want a martini. There's not a maid and the housekeeper is my mom's cousin, who has a massive limp and probably didn't graduate from high school. There's serious redneck inthe family, so it seems really strange to be here now.

On a side note, the kidlet is starting to read music - he's learning it at music class in school. He's frequently off pitch when he sings, but he's got tempo and rhythm down pretty well. I'd give him piano lessons, but with his stubby thumbs, and shortened fingers, it would be very trying and difficult for him, causing lots of meltdowns. But he sat down in front of the keyboard today, with sheet music in front of him, and started picking out Hey Jude pretty well, note/rhythm wise. Mom was impressed. It's gotta be that math genius that he is.

He's had a bit of a difficult time the last couple of days. He's out of his normal routine, so he's acting a bit more immature than normal for him. He's getting frustrated easily with us. I hope he settles in, but if he does, it just means that he'll have a difficult time once he gets home. *sigh*

I've ordered new hardware!

2008-02-24T07:02:00.000-08:00

I'm attempting to save my ear piercing. I 'popped' the hypertrophic scars that were coming up, and pulled the curved barbell out. I used the tea tree oil to help aid in healing. It does smell, though, kinda like kerosene. As it was healing, the back side of my ear went flat, and the front side, almost completely so. It was rather quick, which leads me to believe my problem was the curved barbell.

So, I stuck a regular earring in there. It's not quite long enough, so the back is just barely on, but it's on. It seems to stay on while sleeping, which surprises me. Because of this (and the fact that the bumps haven't shown back up), I ordered a couple of straight barbells. I hope I can get them in when they get here. Earrings are a much smaller gauge than the barbell that I had in (and ordered). I may end up needing to use a taper.

Guitar Hero Finger

2008-02-19T18:59:00.001-08:00

Well, since my last post about Guitar Hero, I have to admit that I beat it on the medium level as well. There was a couple of times that I didn't figure I was going to finish it. I had a hard time during the 'battle' with Slash. Took me 4 tries to do it. I had an easier time with beating Lou/Devil at the end, which surprised the heck out of me. The medium level there was HARD.

But, now I have Guitar Hero Finger. At least, that's what I'm naming it.

A year and a half ago, I dislocated my ring finger on my left hand playing softball. That knuckle hasn't been completely right since then. So, some mornings, that finger swells (or during the night, if you want to get technical). Honestly, I think I'm developing arthritis in my hands. The Orthopedic doctor already confirmed that I had it in my thumb. Which really sucks, because that's the hand I right with, so using an ink pen can sometimes become painful. Typing is much easier.

Anyway, I digress. After playing multiple hours of Guitar Hero, my left hand stopped responding to my brain inputs. Suddenly, I couldn't remember which finger was supposed to be the red button. Ack! I finally had to stop. So, I took a shower. I took my ring off before the shower, and noticed it was a bit swollen/sore from all the playing. I put my ring back on after the shower, before heading to bed. I've never had an issue sleeping in my ring(s), so I never worried about it. I woke up at 3 a.m. I have a feeling that I woke up because that finger was getting too swollen. I went into the bathroom and was actually panicking a bit, because I couldn't get it off. Lotion, soap - neither one worked. I was afraid I was going to have to go to the hospital to have it cut off, for fear of losing the finger due to swelling. I really didn't want to have my custom made ring cut off, as the jeweler who made it is no longer in business and it was a one of a kind. I stuck my hand under the cold water and just twisted and pulled with all of my might. The ring came off. I did attempt to do some string trick that some people have mentioned before, using dental floss, but mostly, I was cutting off the circulation and not really helping get the ring off. I don't think Glide tape works all that well at ring removal. But my finger WAS minty fresh when I finished.

So, I left the ring off. When I woke up, the finger was still swollen. It was swollen most of the day, and red around the joint. It has gone back done, for the most part. I haven't attempted to put my wedding ring back on at this point. I may see what the finger is like tomorrow.

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I got my left ear pierced - a Helix piercing it is called - back in December. I really liked the look. I didn't want a captive bead hoop, so I got a curved barbell. By January, I was getting a hypertrophic scar on the front side. Fortunately, the fold of my ear was hiding it. I changed jewelry, hoping that it was just the material. Unfortunately, for me, it wasn't the jewelry, but probably the shape. I think it was the curve. Also, I sleep on my left ear most of the night, so that probably agitated it. I started getting scarring on the top/back side where the piercing comes out. It was looking like a large pimple.

I decided I needed to just take the piercing out. I was doing the LITHA method (Leave it the heck alone) for aftercare, with gentle washing, but it didn't seem to help. I read that some people 'pop' the scar tissue area, which helps. I attempted that when I changed jewelry, and it did get smaller. It didn't last that way, though, which leads me to believe that it is the jewelry shape as well as sleeping on the left side. Last night, I 'popped' the scars again, and I am treating it with Tea Tree Oil, which is recommended by BME's wiki. The scar on the backside is already much smaller. The one on the front is smaller, but not as flat as the backside. I hope it keeps going down.

I may get it repierced in the future, as I really like how it looked. I'm just not sure if I need to do a straight barbell, or just shift it to my right ear, since I don't sleep on it as much. I just prefer the look of the ring in the left ear over the right. I'm too much a child of the 80's. I always liked multiple holes in the left ear instead of the right.

We'll see. So, right now, I'm mourning my hole. Hopefully it will heal well. Odds are, the whole thing is going to close up completely, requiring a repiercing, which is okay. I just want the bubbles to go away.

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And, you know, I guess I had some stuff saved up to post. It's amazing how much time I didn't have during the holidays.

Also.....I'm ashamed to say it - I kinda want to go play Guitar Hero again. I'm not ready to move up to the next level, but want to play the bonus songs, or co-op play, or online play. We don't have an additional guitar, but one of my coworkers says she is going to go buy the game soon, which will allow us to play together. It's a sickness.

I have a new addiction

2008-02-18T16:50:00.000-08:00

A wise friend once mentioned to me that eating sushi will lead to an addiction.

I didn't believe him. I should've listened.

I'd always wanted to try it, but never had the nerve, as I didn't want to eat something that I wasn't going to like. I felt like I needed a guide. I never really got one, but I did have a coworker give me a piece of his spicy tuna tempura roll. I liked it. A lot.

Soon after came an urge to try it again. I had a coworker who loved California rolls. I liked them in the past. Now, they seem pedestrian and bland. I haven't even skimmed the surface when it comes to sushi. Individual bites of goodness.

I will admit, I'm still not a great fan of sashimi. I liked the salmon well enough, but it still seemed a bit bland. I like the blending of multiple flavors, though.

So, today I brought home for lunch a few different things. Our local place does takeout. I had a roll with snow crab, albacore and lobster with a spicy sauce over the top (and a little bit of tiny salmon eggs). The lobster/tuna top (the crab was inside) was baked. I also had the spicy tuna tempura (still seems to be hanging in there as my favorite, but that may change over time), as well as something they called a mango roll. It was spicy tuna, mango, avocado wrapped with something other than nori. I don't know what it was, but it was white. It was served with a pepper/mango sauce. It was yummy. Almost like dessert, but with a bit of a spicy kick.

Yes, Virginia. I have a problem.

Wow! I'm so far behind!

2008-02-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

Here it is, February, and I missed posting in December and January. I should feel awful. I had some prodding from a reader to remind me that I needed to do some updating.

Christmas holidays have come and gone and much has happened. I'm glad Christmas is over. It's amazing how much better I feel once I've purchased for those 21 people (22 if you include myself, unless I've added wrong). My niece had her 20th birthday in December and wants me and my spouse to celebrate her 21st with her. She's already making Vegas plans. She said something along the lines of putting her tax return into her Vegas fund. Of course, we'll end up spending our money instead of letting her spend hers. She can gamble with hers if she chooses, but the rest can be our birthday gift. The fact that she wants us to go with her is great. Shoot, she asked us a year ago, and still wants us to go with her.

So, Christmas with the kidlet was fun. He was 10, in 5th grade, and still believed in Santa. He was spoiled rotten by us, but we tried to keep the Santa gifts to a minimum. I used to wrap everything from Santa in different wrapping paper than the rest of our gifts, just to keep it separate. However, hubby used the Santa paper on something else. I jumped on him and he said that maybe the kidlet would figure it out on his own. Didn't work. Which fast fowards us to a couple of weeks ago when we finally broke the news about Santa. We're terrible parents. I fully expected to have to apologize to him like he made us do when we told him that the Tooth Fairy wasn't real, either. He was heartbroken over the Tooth Fairy and the fact that we had been lying to him for years. He wanted to know why we weren't honest about it. I was expecting something similar, or worse, for Santa. And, amazingly enough, aside from an "awwwwww", it was a bit anti-climactic. He took it incredibly well. I'm sure kids had been saying things for a while, and he was ignoring it. When we told him, it was just confirmation. I felt so much better that he took it well without getting upset. Maybe he's growing up a bit.

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In February, the kidlet got his Arrow of Light for Cub Scouts. For those of you who don't know, the Arrow of Light is the highest honor a Cub Scout can receive and the only honor that they take with them from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. They get to wear an additional patch on their Boy Scout shirt. He was very excited. The pack did this Order of the Arrow bridging ceremony, as well as the story of Akela (using other Scouts). It was probably a culturally insulting ceremony to many Indians, as most of the Order of the Arrow boys wore feathers. I wasn't offended, and I'm a member of the Choctaw tribe, but some people get stuffy about that sort of thing. Kidlet thought the whole thing was great. The next day was Scout Sunday at church. I had to stay up after the ceremony Saturday night, sewing his new patches on his new shirt for Scouts so he could wear the new uniform at church instead of wearing his Cub Scout uniform. He was proud. I was proud of him. He's moving on to a Boy Scout troop that is VERY active in the outdoors. They go on a hike/campout every month. He's a sedentary kid and this will be good for him. He's looking forward to it. So he and the spouse are going to condition for hiking and such together. He's going to go with the kidlet on campouts as I'm not much of a camper. I grew up camping with the family, as we did a lot of deer hunting. I slept on the ground a lot. As an adult, sleeping on the is a bit uncomfortable, so I have not a lot of desire to do it on a monthly basis. Especially since my knee isn't going to be 100%, and I'm going to have surgery on the other one at some point this year, they just aren't going to be up to hiking and climbing after this. Besides, the spouse gets to bond with the kidlet more. His own father never did anything with him, so he doesn't want to be that way with his own son.

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Saturday was the kidlet's birthday. We had a bowling party for his friends. More showed up this year than last time we did a bowling party. This year, we planned for much fewer. One was a boy from scouts/church/daycare, another was from school/daycare, and then from school/caretaker's son. The kidlet has a caretaker who takes him out of the house a couple of days a week, which also gives us a break. Her step-son has Asperger Syndrome but to a lower degree of functioning than our son (and he's also missing a hand). Turns out, one of the kids that he invited has some 'issues' of his own. I think the only kid there that didn't have problems was one from cub scouts (but he seems to be a shy guy). All in all, I think they had fun. Kidlet got a pack of Magic: The Gathering cards. He's been playing it at daycare and really wanted his own deck. Now he has one. He got a gift card from his Aunt, so he may go and purchase many booster packs with it.

Although, his favorite birthday present (aside from the Magic cards) was Guitar Hero III (for the Wii) from us. He's already blown through the easy level, beating the game. He started the medium level but decided that he enjoys the easy level. So, now he's trying to beat every song at 100%. He's got 3/5 so far on the first level (including the encore song). I have a feeling that the kidlet is going to be singing Rock and Roll all Night for many years to come.

To be fair, I have played it while he's been out and in bed. I have beaten the easy level and am on the medium level. I'm not doing too badly. I guess this makes me a tremendous nerd.

Oh! Something just occurred to me. I wore a tshirt that I got for being a "club member" on the TiVo Community website to the kidlet's bowling party. The lower functioning kid noticed it. He comes over to our house, so his question to me makes sense. He asked me why I wore a shirt with a TiVo on it, had TiVo clings on the glass door (there are 3, actually). I told him that I just really liked TiVo. I told him that I also had a lunch box (thanks Pony!), a TiVo doll (Thanks Xaa/Billy66), a hat (thanks again, Pony), a Christmas ornament (again, Pony), and the kidlet had a large TiVo (thanks to Shady for the trade!). He said that he really liked his PS2, but he didn't wear clothes with one on it. I guess I told told by a little kid. :D I just said that it made me a bit nerdy, and that's okay.

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My spouse did something incredibly sweet for Valentine's day. He gave me a bag with 10 sets of fingernail clippers in it. I laughed so hard that I cried. He's always losing the ones that I buy, setting them on the black hole that is his desk, never to be found again (at least, found by him, as that would require picking stuff up and looking UNDERNEATH it to find what he's looking for). I gave him one pair for his desk and put the other 9 away, so he couldn't lose those, either. :D

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I wonder if our new cat has Manx Syndrome. He seems to have digestion problems. I wonder if it is his problem, since the vet wasn't able to find anything wrong with his blood and fecal tests. Cat's always having problems with overly wet movements. I need to take him back in to the vet, to see if they can take a look at him.

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How sad is it that I'm incredibly excited about getting my hair cut? I haven't had one in months. The woman I'm going to is supposedly very good and has all sorts of extra training in New York. We'll see if I like what she does to my hair. Fortunately, if I don't like it, my hair grows out pretty quickly. One of my coworkers can't even tell her what to do with her hair, she just is supposed to submit to the stylist's will on her hairstyle. I like it's current state, so it's not that big of a deal. I just don't want my hair that short (although it's been that short before). Right now, it's just blah and needs some style. We'll see how it looks on Friday after the cut.

Nothing like it getting cut just in time for hubby and the kidlet to go on a school campout. They're heading to San Diego for a few days of camping and science stuff. They get to go to museums and spend time on the beach, learning about science. They aren't supposed to bring their own food, but I made a point to tell them that, with our kid, they won't have a choice. He will be eating his own food, as the stuff that they will be making (hamburgers, tacos, hot dogs) are more than likely going to be vomited back up if they require him to eat it. So, hubby is going to be bringing pizzas for the kidlet. He plans on having him eat them away from the rest of the kids, so there won't be jealousy. At least he'll be able to eat his lunch with the other kids.

While the spouse is camping near the beach, I'll be hanging out at home, playing video games. I'm such a gamer mom.

Holiday Musings

2007-11-24T21:05:00.001-08:00

Why are holidays so stressful? I think it's because we feel like there are certain things that we have to accomplish, or we will upset someone else. It's interesting to see which holidays get stressful in my family.

My side of the family is pretty mellow, and that part doesn't stress me out, beyond the fact that I have to mail presents out of state, which is never fun. The other stress is figuring out what to get everyone. It becomes quite difficult. My sister just has "fallback" gifts, which are usually sports team logo clothing. Which is fine. I just try to come up with something different. Sometimes, it's a bit odd. Last year, I sent my sister a floating pool light that does colored designs and shapes inside the pool. I have no idea if it works or not, or if it is complete crap, as my sister and I don't talk much. It's not that we don't like each other. We like each other fine. We get along. We're both talkers, so it's not that, either. It has more to do with the fact that we're just busy with our lives and our children and just don't have the time. I feel guilty about it, though. Heck, I feel guilty that I didn't send Christmas cards for the last year or two. I'm a tad embarassed about that. I try. I buy the boxes of cards, but never do anything with them. I buy birthday cards ahead of time, but never send them. I bought my dad's birthday card 3 weeks ago, but only mailed it yesterday, and his birthday is today.

The more stressful things are Thanksgiving here in the town I live in. My husband has this quirky family. If we go to one house where we are more likely going to enjoy the holiday, it angers the other house, who feels that we should go and have dinner with her family, to whom we aren't related and barely know. That's lots of stress, right there, if we decide not to go to her family. We finally got tired of trying to do the politically correct thing and just did what made us happy. Although, I kinda wonder about it, though, because none of the family invited us this year.

My only stress during Christmas is buying for the 21 people that we have to buy for, give or take a couple of people. I've forgotten one of them in the past, so now I try to keep lists, to make sure I haven't forgotten anyone. Most of us that live here locally, pass around lists, to make it easier to shop. It also means that sometimes that person gets multiples of the same thing. I think 3 of us gave my niece the same DVD. I wasn't in the mood to try and ship it back to Amazon, so I kept the copy that I purchased. It's still in it's plastic wrapper, sitting on top of my DVD shelves. I'll open it eventually, as I like the movie. But how many copies of Grease does one girl need? I don't have any, so it made sense to keep it.

Speaking of older movies, a few years back, I purchased the DVD's of the Evil Dead series of movies. I couldn't find a DVD of Evil Dead 2, just a VHS of it. I managed to find a copy today, so I purchased it. I've been struck by the purchasing frenzy lately, so hopefully that will help me through the shopping season. This morning (or was it last night - can't remember now), I purchased a Nintendo DS bundle, with Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. I wanted that game, but you can order the special edition DS Lite with it, which is gold and has the triforce logo on it. I couldn't help myself. I had to buy it. My spouse and I aren't exchanging gifts this year, aside from a possible trinket, because we just purchased a new, several thousand dollar shed for the backyard. We can afford it, but it is still rather expensive. Still, you gotta have something under the tree, so I have a feeling I'll probably purchase more for my spouse than that. It must be that time of the year.

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I have decided that I have an obnoxious new kitten. He's such an attention whore - at least with me. He ignores my spouse most of the time. I feel kinda bad about that, but I missed having a kitty. The first kitty that we had when we got married, was definitely my spouse's kitty, even though he was supposed to be mine. When my spouse and I were engaged, I wanted a kitten. My parents didn't want cats any longer, since our previous one had gotten old and had to be put down, due to renal failure. She had peed on the bed curtains and clawed the doorways, so they didn't want to have to deal with that sort of thing any longer. So my then fiance and I picked out a kitten at the pound, and the cat lived with him at his apartment. The cat loved me when I didn't live there. When I moved in, he pouted for a month or more. Cracked me up. He finally decided he liked me again, and would sleep on my hair. Aside from that, though, he preferred my spouse's lap to mine, any day. The cats that we have had between then and now, never lasted long enough to really have a favorite. This one has been around for a few months now, and seems to be doing okay. He doesn't seem to be interested in going through the doggie door and into the outdoors. Kinda surprises me. We had been keeping the litter box in the garage with those cats, encouraging them to use the doggy door to use the litter box. Their food was in the garage, on top of the dryer, to prevent the dogs from getting to it. For this cat, when we first brought him home, we locked him up in the computer room for a few days when we had to go to work, just to keep him separated from the dogs. We just left his litter box in here for a while, so he would know where to find it. After a while, we just decided to keep it here, because he doesn't seem interested in the doggy door. I'm afraid if we put it out in the garage, he'll start exploring the wide world around the house and get eaten by a coyote. I'm guessing that is what has happened to most of the cats that we have had (with the exception of the one we had to put down due to injury). A friend of mine told me that we shouldn't get a new cat because "it never ends well." I thought it was pretty funny, while apt. As long as the cat seems uninterested in the outdoors, his food and litter will remain here in the computer room. The only downside to that, though, is if the cat decides he wants to play with his dry food instead of eat it. He'll pick it up with his paw, curl up his paw and try to put it in his mouth (by 'hand' as it were), and drops it on the desk (his food is on my desk to keep it out of reach from the dogs). After it lands on the desk, he bats it around, where it eventually ends up underneath my keyboard. He'll pick up my keyboard with his paw, and bat the cat food around, eventually knocking it off the desk, where the dog will eat it. Then, he'll start the process all over again, with a new piece of cat food. Stupid cat. :D

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Now, as far as my previous post in the blog - just to update - things are better. I'm moving past it, and I don't think about it so much. Everything isn't rosy yet, but it is getting better.

Ever had one of those weeks?

2007-10-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

You know those kinds of weeks. Just blah. Work is going fine, so it isn't that. Something happened in my personal life (sorry, you aren't getting any more about it than that - but totally unreleated to hotwifing) that kind of threw me for a loop. It's getting better, though. There are times that I don't think about it, but there are other times where it just sneaks up on me.

I feel like I should make a decision, some sort of action, but I find myself just drifting, which is really a decision in and of itself. Inaction can be a decision - staying the course. And, it may very well be the correct one. But it's hard to not second guess yourself. If you make the wrong decision, you have to look back and realize how stupid and naive that you were. I don't want to make the wrong decision, and choosing action, might very well be the wrong thing. On top of that, I feel guilt hurting the very person who hurt me, which just seems really bizarre. What can you do about that? What should you do about that? The person who caused me pain, forcing this reflection, didn't intend to. I always knew that. Which, ironically, makes it hurt that much more.

I've always been a person who makes decisions and usually doesn't agonize over them. So this situation makes it much more difficult for me. I was depressed for a few days, not speaking much. I find that I'm not nearly so quiet (and, those of you who know me, know that quiet is not my normal state). I come out of it for periods of time, but even then, I'm not the verbose, happy person that I usually am. I miss that part of me. Right now, I just have this pressure in the middle of my chest that seems to reside there and flare up occasionally, reminding me that it has taken up residence. I think falling back on routine can help dislodge the unwelcome feelings, but should I? Does ignoring the pain mean I'm burying my head in the sand and not doing what is right for me and my family?

Why does life have to be complicated? My life, for the most part, has been relatively uncomplicated. I've had it easy when compared to many. Taking action, in this case, will make things much harder than they are now, more difficult, more complicated. And if I take that action, I will have absolutely no support system, locally, making things infinitely more difficult. So, all it probably means is that I won't take action, go back to routine, and just wall off that little intruder that took residence in my chest. A bit like Edgar Allen Poe did "The Cask of Amontillado".

Watching for Lightning

2007-09-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm fully expecting to be struck by lightning tomorrow.

Sunday school is starting back up again at church. I direct the children's choir, which is a part of the sunday school curriculum for us. It makes it easier for attendance. The kids all sing with me, but only the ones who want to perform do so.

So, the actual "teachers" do the curriculum and I bail after they practice singing. We do that first thing, after a 5 minute opening time. However, we're teaching the kids about feasts and festivals during the time of Jesus. And the lessons call for someone to portray Mary. Guess who they asked. Me. Teehee. I'm fully expecting to be struck dead.

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We got a new kitty. A friend of mine told me that we shouldn't, as he said it never ends well. So far, he's doing just fine with the dogs. We'll see how long this one lasts.

My name is Agatha, and I have an addiction

2007-07-31T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted to books. There. I said it. It's horribly embarassing. I buy books all the time. My mom is the same way. However, she only buys hardback books, and she tries to stick with classics, or the most popular authors of the day (or of their time). Growing up, there were always loads of books in our house. When my mom and dad built their current home, they put in a library. She's already run out of room, and is contemplating taking the shelves up to the ceiling in the 2 story tall room, and add a brass rolling ladder. The cost of the ladder ($2K) is what is keeping her back.

So, you see where I come by the addiction naturally.

I buy paperbacks. This is mainly due to the fact that they're smaller, lighter, more portable, and cheaper. I reread many of them, so I don't feel like I've wasted my money. I could go to the local library and check them out, but I have an addiction. If there is an author that I like, I can't make myself wait for the library to get the book in. I just purchase it. I *can* make myself wait until the book comes out on paperback. Since we don't have a real bookstore here in our little town, I usually get my books from the grocery store or Walmart. Most of those are paperbacks, so the hardback books don't tempt me. Every so often, I'll see a book from a series that I enjoy and force myself to wait for paperback. My reasoning would be that it would be strange to have books from a series go from paperbacks, to hardbacks, and possibly back again.

I've taken to storing the books in plastic tubs, as I ran out of shelf space years ago. We're going to redo our living room at some point in the next few years, and plan on putting in some bookshelves, but I decided that I couldn't wait any longer. I purchased some el-cheapo shelves from Staples (yay for the 25% discount I have as a premier rewards member and free delivery on furniture). I bought 3 tall book cases. I ran out of room. I've had to double stack books in front of books. I even got rid of a few books from an author I didn't particularly care for, and some books that I received from someone else who didn't have the time to read them. Those are going to go to the thrift store for a new home. I don't throw books away. I still don't have enough shelf space. I started looking at the book genres, and found myself a little embarassed. It was primarily romance novels (usually not the ones with half naked couples on the cover, grasping at each other, although there are a few of the older ones in there that do have that), mystery, and some sci-fi thrown in. There are some comedy books, and a few classics on the shelves. Still, seeing them all out of their plastic tubs, where my addiction can hide, made me realize that I have a problem.

However, I'm not going to do anything about it. As far as addictions go, books can't be all that bad. I do think it's time for me to start rereading some of them, though. Some I haven't opened in a long while, some I haven't reread. It might be worth seeing if there are some that I can bring myself to part with.

Heehee. I'm kinda guessing not many.

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I've been told that I haven't updated my condition post surgery. I'm doing pretty good. I can walk without fear of my knee going out from under me. It is strong enough to go up stairs without too much trouble. I do find that there are times where I still strain it, and it gives me some muscle soreness. This past weekend, we had a water pipe break in the backyard (stupid sprinkler installers from 20 years ago didn't actually glue all of the sections of pipe together so they eventually give way). I had to squat on my knees to turn off the water shutoff valve several times while we were isolating the leak. My knee was protesting for days afterward. It still is giving me some residual soreness. Last night, with all of the bookcases I assembled, I found that there was some lingering soreness today. Still, I wanted to get those bookcases assembled and put up before someone from the county (for my son) came to the house today to interview us for services.

That's a whole other story, but I think I'll wait to post the details on that until after we have some more information. But for now, the county may be able to provide some additional services for the kidlet that he can find of use.

It's that time of the year....

2007-07-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the year that many people come to dread. Evaluation time.

My boss asked everyone to email him a several page listing of our accomplishments for the year - presentations, conferences, papers, classes, patents, programs, etc. On top of that, the form is really tailored to the scientists and not to me, a technician. However, I was able to fill out quite a bit of the information, so it didn't look like I was a complete slacker. This is the first evaluation I've had with this group, so I wasn't sure what to expect, and I don't know how the evaluation is going to come out.

I work for one PhD in the branch. We have several PhD's, engineers and scientists/chemists. I know my boss has seen that my PhD's work output has increased since I've come on with the branch, which I hope is a good thing. My PhD has been pushing for a promotion for me, which would be my last promotion - but it would be a great one. I don't think I'll get it this year, but it's nice to know that he's pushing for it. I only expected this guy to be the one to give feedback to the boss about my job skills and work for the past year. Not so, it seems. I guess he asked for an evaluation from one or more of the others. I was sent a copy from another PhD, with 2 pages of him commending my work. It's a seriously glowing recommendation/commendation. I was floored when I read it.

Here's part of it: (with the name changed to protect the not so innocent)

"With somebody like Ms. Mystery observing and thinking about the miscellaneous problems that continually arise around here, I am much more confident that the even more complex problems which may arise in the future will have a brain trust in the Branch adequate for their solution, rather than a few isolated, overworked individuals. Everybody on this Base ought to be like her, oriented toward problem-solving and assistance, and to have her inquiring and interested attitude, and yet all too few actually are. The ones who actually do have these attributes should be encouraged to stay on and continue to grow.

Agatha Mystery is a highly skilled and able worker in an ever-more-specialized area, who is not afraid to take on the extra mental and physical efforts needed as the changing demands of the work cause her job to move into new and strange areas. She is a colleague in every sense of the word. I would strongly urge that she be given a Performance Review commensurate with her abilities, and in recognition of the extra efforts she puts out for the success and for the future of this Branch."

The statement "colleague in every sense of the word" just floored me. I consider that such a compliment from this guy. And he's not even the guy I work for. He's just another PhD that we have in the branch.

It made for an interesting day, to say the least.

Apparently, Vicodin IS my friend

2007-06-07T11:44:00.000-07:00

I had enough pain yesterday to risk trying Vicodin again. I got around a bit too much, I guess, and my knee kept hurting. Usually, I can find some position to put it in that doesn't cause pain. I was out of luck with that yesterday. I finally broke down and took a couple before bedtime. I waited up a while to see if I was going to toss my cookies. Fortunately, that didn't happen. So, I went to bed much easier. I may end up taking a few more - especially next week as I go back to work and am up and around on it.

So, my dear friend, you may not get the leftovers after all.

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As I'm tired of talking about my knee, it may be time to start talking about something else. My fingernails.

I have been letting them grow as of late. They usually don't last long. I've lost one of them today, as a matter of fact. Which probably means it's time to cut them all off. They get in the way at work, when I have to push buttons and the like. It's harder to type. It's harder to masturbate. All in all, except for looks, they are a complete annoyance.

Anyway, I like to have them shiny, so I bought a nail buffer. It's weird. I've managed to buff my thumbnail rather smooth. It almost looks plastic. Just seems odd not to have those little striations on there.

From Ow to Wow!

2007-06-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

or...what a differnce a day makes.

I woke up this morning with next to no knee pain. It's still weak, as I notice that it doesn't have the stability that the other one has when I walk to the bathroom and back. It is sore when I try to bend it all the way, but the soreness of straightening it out is gone.

I slept in my own bed last night. That was better than the sofa. My back was sore, though, and didn't want to let me go to sleep. I had my spouse rub it for a while, which made all of the difference. I think part of it was due to the fact that my body wasn't physically tired. I'm used to being up and around much more, and having sat on my ass for a few days just wasn't cutting it in the sleep department.

Nice thing about the pain going away, though. I was worried about going to work next week. I'm no longer worried about it. I think it will be fine. Thank goodness. We're too busy at work for me to be down longer than that. I'm sure I'll have therapy, which will take me out of work, but if I set it up right, everything will be fine.

I'm feeling so much better about surgery at this point. The knee stiffness can be overcome with stretching and bending, so that doesn't worry me so much. I've dislocated my knee before, so I know what it takes to get it back into shape. I'm not supposed to be doing anything harsh this week, so all I'm going to do is continue to do the exercises that the surgeon told me to do.

Plus, since the pain is mostly gone, no need to worry about the Vicodin. I can get by on ibuprofen, my wonder drug.

Now....what to do about my extra Vicodin.....

Ow!

2007-06-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

So, 2 days post surgery. I tried to update yesterday, but due to DNS issues (at least, I assume that is what the problem was), I couldn't access blogger. So, you had to wait for an update. I'm sure you are all on the edges of your seats. Or not.

So, let me be the first to say, Vicodin doesn't seem to be my friend. The doc told me I could take as many as 3 every 3 hours if I needed to, but only do that for a couple of days, due to the large amount of tylenol that is in there. Don't want to OD on tylenol. Because that would, you know, suck.

It was interesting going into surgery. I walked in and was getting dressed in my surgical gown when a nurse came in and asked me a strange question. It kinda surprised me. She asked, "Would you like anesthesia today?" I thought that was an odd question. Yeah. I want anesthesia.

So, they hooked me up to an IV, gave me a few oral drugs (one was an antibiotic but not sure what the other one was). I had several people come in and ask what the surgery was supposed to be, and on which leg. I guess it was their way to double check (and triple and quadruple check) to make sure they didn't do the wrong thing. They also wrote the word Yes on my knee with a sharpie. I told them I didn't care which one they did, since both of them need it. They got a laugh out of that one.

So, they wheel me into surgery, where someone is playing Evanessence. For some reason, one of the guys in there thought it would bother me. I told them, "what's not to like about Evanessence?" One laughed and seemed surprised that I would know who it was. I think they turned it off shortly thereafter. I made a joke that they needed to play "Bring me to life" by that band when they woke me up from surgery. After that, got a mask strapped to my face and off to lala land. It didn't take long.

I woke up, in pain, with my eyes streaming. They gave me pain meds through my IV, which helped. However, I was using that arm to wipe the tears from my eyes (the tears were an involuntary reaction - I wasn't crying), so I was keeping the drugs from working, as that was the arm that the IV was in. It got better, though, and they rushed me right out of the recovery room. I expected to be in there longer. I guess not. Surgeon said my kneecap was really "fuzzy" and ragged. He's going to show me a picture on Friday. He said that I had to be in a lot of pain when I was standing up and sitting down. I told him that I wasn't. I hope I get to take the picture home with me. If I can, I'll scan it and host it, so others can see.

That being said, Vicodin doesn't seem to be my friend. I couldn't keep anything down for the first two days. I called the on-call doctor to see what I should do. He told me to switch to ibuprofen and take the Vicodin to sleep. That way, I could get some food into my stomach. I was getting a little shaky, to tell the truth. Last night's dinner stayed down, as well as the shake that my husband went and got for me afterwards (dinner was just a chicken sandwich, so don't go thinking I pigged out or anything). He made me an egg sandwich this morning for breakfast, since I was hungry. I may take the vicodin later on, as my knee was killing me this morning when I got up to go to the bathroom.

Oh, and I will say, my sofa bed is only comfortable when I'm on drugs. Once I stopped taking the Vicodin, it stopped being soft.

I get to shower today, which will be nice. I can wash the betadine off of my leg. It's been yellow for 2 days. A friend of mine (EMT) told me that alcohol would take it off, but I didn't do it. That's a lot of leg to wash with alcohol. I'll finally get to see the holes in my knee. I rewrapped the top of the ace bandage this morning and saw one of the blood spots (nasty looking) through the bandages. After my shower, I get to take off the pressure bandages and put bandaids on the holes. Then I have to rewrap it with the ace. At least for a few days. We'll see how it feels.

I'm curious to see how I'll feel next weekend. Right now, I feel like I pulled some major muscles and twisted my knee. I was hoping to be able to get back to work next week. We'll see how that turns out. I'll be out of sick leave by the end of next week, so, unless I take an advance on my sick, I'll probably just take some of my vacation time. I've got enough stored up.

I'm hoping to sleep in my own bed tonight, as it is infinitely more comfortable than the sofa. I don't know how much time I'm going to spend on the computer, as it puts pressure on the leg in an uncomfortable way. I've got a lap desk, but I'm using it to hold things like my food and drink and drugs. We'll see. It can only get better from here on out. Right?

Damn, I'm Lazy!

2007-05-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

Next week is a 3 day work week. This is due to the holiday and our flex schedule. Most of the office is going to be gone. I had planned on going in to work, not realizing that it was a short week. When everyone was taking off, the lure became too great. I have to use 70 hours of vacation time this year, or I lose it. I'll only use up 27 ours of it this next week, so I couldn't help myself.

It seems a little selfish, though, since I am having surgery on Friday. I'll have to take the following week off for recuperation, according to my surgeon. I'm having work done on my knee, and he wants me to lay down, with my leg above my heart, to prevent blood clots, for a full week.

I have a feeling I'm going to go stir crazy. I've purchased books from Amazon (gotta love Prime shipping). However, while I have bought something on the order of 7 books, I've already read one and am on to my second one. I have a feeling I'm going to be reading books next week, to some extent. Oh well. I've been waiting to watch Heroes, since NBC has them available to stream. I just hope they are there in 2 weeks, since the season is now over. I've watched something like 6 or 7 episodes, when they showed them on SciFi on a weekend marathon. Once I found out that they were on nbc.com, I chose to wait to watch them while I was recuperating. Good thing my laptop has wireless.

I am sure that I am going to hate my sofa in 2 weeks. It's a foldout, so that's probably how I'm going to be vegged out for a while. I will still probably hate it.

Since I'm going to be gone two weeks, I did as much as I possibly could before I left. I made paperwork for everything that I have currently stored in the oven to cure (propellant has to bake like a cake). It might not cure, so the paperwork isn't necessary, but it's there in case it does. The PhD I work for doesn't really have a good handle on the paperwork required, so he leaves parts off, or doesn't do all that is needed. So I have it all ready whenever he needs it. He can move it himself, if need be, but just needs a hand with the paper.

Speaking of my PhD, he's been working hard trying to get me a promotion, which I think is awesome. I don't need it. I wouldn't mind having it, though. It's one I didn't expect until years down the road, sometime 10 years from now, possibly. I think it's great that he's trying to get it for me. He's running into some opposition, but I think that's more to do with the fact that I've only been on base 7 years. The people who have been there for 20 are the ones who have earned that promotion. It would be my last promotion of my career. I'd still get pay raises, but it would be the last payband jump that's available to me.

I don't think it will happen this year, but it is still a nice thought.

Scheduling Nightmare

2007-05-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment scheduled for Friday, the 3rd. A couple of weeks prior, I received a call, saying that they had to cancel it. I made another appointment for the 10th. On the 2nd, I received a call, saying that they had to cancel it. Arrrrgh! After talking with them, they had another cancellation for the 3rd, so I got an appointment about an hour after my original one. Sheesh. Go figure.

Which means, that I got to go see my orthopedic surgeon. And, wouldn't you know it, I forgot to talk to him about my thumb that has been bothering me for 2 months. I have to have surgery on my knees anyway, so I'll be seeing him at the end of the month for the first one. I figure I can talk to him then.

The surgeon is going to do what is called a lateral release on my patella. He's also going to scrape the underside of my kneecap to smooth it out a bit. Due to the grinding, I'm sure the cartilage is all torn up. He wants me to stay down for an entire week. Nothing but my knee propped up and me laying down. He wants my feet above my heart. He's worried about blood clots. He won't even let me go into the office and sit at my desk with my feet propped up. I have a feeling I'm going to be rather bored after the first day. Good thing my laptop has wireless and I have a TiVo. I'm sure I'll have watched everything on the hard drive by that point, but it's still there for some relief.

I'll be having surgery on one knee right now. It's rather difficult on the patient to have both knees done at the same time. Besides, we might find that it isn't beneficial enough for me to have the other one. On top of that, there is only so much physical therapy that the insurance company will pay for in a year. Fortunately, they pay for quite a bit and my PT held back on sessions to keep my numbers of visits down in case I had to have surgery. I thinks he saw it coming.

So, first major surgery on me just shy of my birthday.

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I was talking with my mom earlier in the week. She did a vanity search on my sister - she can't remember why. And she came across some posts that I made about my sister's name on a forum that I post at. Mom was surprised that she could see it. It was in the archives, but mom now knows my username. I told her that she might not want to peruse the forums, as she might find out some things about me that she might not want to know. heehee That's probably as close to telling her about my proclivities as I'm ever going to get.

Therapy Stalls

2007-04-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

After spending a couple of months going to physical therapy twice a week, it looks like it has stalled out. My orthopedic guy wanted me to go to the PT to learn the exercises to do at home. However, the PT has been guiding me anyway. I have the visits - insurance gives me quite a few - so I haven't been worried about it. I had some improvement, then it seemed like it backslid and got worse. My evaluation today showed some muscle strength increase, which is good, but not really enough to do much good. She is hesitating to say it, but I believe that she thinks surgery is in my future. Which is why we are stopping therapy at this point to make sure I have enough visits post surgery.

So, I get to go see the doctor in a couple of weeks on my day off, to be evaluated. I'm guessing surgery on both knees is in my future. After therapy today, both of my knees are now hurting. Figures.

I've also had this sore thumb for the last month and a half (or so). I figured it would go away, but no such luck. I actually looked at it this past week to see if it was swollen, and the joint seems to be. I have no idea what I did. It doesn't seem to be getting any better, but it doesn't seem to be getting any worse, really. So I guess that's a good thing. I'll have the ortho guy look at that as well. The PT wonders if it is arthritis. Seems a strange place to have as my first location for arthritis. One would think that my knees would be the first.

Buying Fools

2007-03-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

We decided that the mini-van (I was such a soccer mom) was getting old (has 93K miles on it) and little things were starting to break. We've decided that we should get out from under it before it self-destructs, and has a little value. Dealership wouldn't give much in trade (only offered $1000), so we're going to try and sell it locally for a few thousand. We'll see what happens. Inside is in great condition and there is only a minor oil leak. However, the seal to replace is under the engine and may cost a lot to pull for the labor to replace it. It runs fine, so having to put in oil every so often isn't a killer. It has satellite radio, so that might help it sell. After that, though, the only little problem it has is that one of the door locks on one of the back sliding doors sometimes doesn't unlock when you hit the power button.

We know that the electronics can fail in these after a while, but it's holding up at this point. So, we're keeping our fingers crossed for someone to buy it.

Which means....

We bought a new car. It's the first time we have ever bought a brand new car, and not a used car. The van was a year old, but had 30K miles on it when we got it. This one had about 35 miles on it from test drives (although their paperwork said 10 miles). We bought a car that has much better gas mileage than our mini-van, and was cheaper than our van was, used, when we bought it 7 years ago. We bought a 2007 Honda Fit Sport. It's a fun little zippy car. It handles quite well, much better than I thought it would. We like it. My spouse has washed it twice, since it got dirt on it from driving out to visit people who live on dirt roads. It's cute. However, I draw the line at turning it into a ricer-mobile. This is the first year it's been offered in the US, and already has chrome accents that you can put on the dash. Silly ricers.

My husband and I installed a plug-n-play satellite receiver, so I can have my Sirius radio. Radio in BFE is horrible, so I NEED my satellite radio. We bought the car on Friday, and my spouse and I had the antenna ran (under the trim on the floor and in door panels) and radio hard mounted (no dash or vent mounting for us) under the console. It looks good, and it matches the car pretty well. All of the console is black/gray/silver, with blue backlighting and our unit is the same. Looks pretty snazzy.

Ours looks like this, but doesn't have tinted windows. We need to add some tinting to the passenger/cargo areas.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/67/2007-Honda-Fit-Sport.jpg/800px-2007-Honda-Fit-Sport.jpg

I couldn't help myself. I put a Pirates of the Caribbean Mickey Mouse Antenna Topper on the antenna.

The car antenna is a bit too fat to shove that puppy on there, so I had to take a drill bit to open it up a tad. It is held on there pretty well, since it took some force. It's cute. One of my coworkers has a red bug, and she put one on her car as well. Cracks me up when we park next to each other.

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In other news, PT isn't going as well as I'd hoped. It was getting better, then it seemed to get a bit worse. I'm wondering if I won't have to do surgery after all. I think the PT is kind of expecting it at this point.

I also need to go to the dentist. I haven't been in a while. I wish I had more time to do stuff than I do. I'll try to get an appointment.

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It didn't rain all winter. I know I live in the desert.....but COME ON! This is ridiculous. It usually isn't this bad. It's actually sprinkling this evening, amazingly enough. Not enough to be actual rain, though. Just enough to taunt you. Cruel rain.

I Am a Terrible Person

2007-03-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

Went to the uncle's house for dinner this evening, like we always do. I wondered if it was going to be awkward. See, I called him a hypocrite last night. I should probably feel a bit bad about that. And I do, a little. He's been going on and on about "An Inconvenient Truth". He's almost religious with it. I am surprised at how fervent he is about the whole thing. I'm not quite as convinced as he is about it all, and I brought up a dissenting opinion. Things got a little heated. I told him that, while I might not believe that the whole thing is truth, or due to man, that doesn't stop me from decreasing my energy usage a bit. I asked him what he was doing. His response was "spreading the word." I asked if he was doing anything else to decrease his personal consumption, and he is not. I told him that he was a hypocrite. He said that his doing anything about it was a drop in the bucket and it wouldn't mean anything unless government does something first. I told him that enough people put drops in the bucket, it gets full. I don't know. The whole thing kinda makes me angry. If you think people should live their lives in a specific way, doesn't it make sense to seet an example instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you? For goodness sake, the man has 5 DVD burners (was 5 VHS recorders) running at all times. He's recording all sorts of stuff off of his DVR and satellite. There's no way he can watch it all. He's got 4 computers, and it is just him. He used to have just one, then it became 4 within a couple of months. The man is almost OCD.

Still, I feel guilty that I unloaded on him. He is an incredibly sweet man, and lonely. I think old age is creeping up on him in the way it did to my grandmother. You isolate yourself and you start getting more and more extreme in your beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are. This man was very good to us through college. He gave us money every month that allowed us to see the occasional movie and keep our heads above water. We tried to pay him back, but he won't hear of it. We got a bit extravagant for his birthday this year and bought him an expensive BBQ grill. It's aobut the only way we can pay him back for his generosity.

I guess that's what makes me a heel. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don't know why I didn't just back out of that fight. If it were my grandmother, I would have. This man isn't even remotely close to that old, so I don't think of him that way. I do now, though. It explains a lot.

I guess I owe him an apology. He hugged me last night as he left, even after we argued, so I don't think he holds it against me all that much.

Shit.

More Bullies

2007-03-01T16:26:00.000-08:00

I'm incredibly annoyed with my son's daycare. Well, more a person who doesn't seem to take things my son says seriously. Apparently, my son was on the playground with the others, and they all had dodgeballs. My son wasn't playing dodgeball, but was just kicking a ball to see how high he could kick it. Several other boys decided they were going to nail my son in the head with dodgeballs all at just about the same time. He says he got hit in the head many times, knocking off his glasses at one point. He thinks it was 5 times, but he's not sure now. I mentioned it to the daycare director, who pretty much blew me off, with a kids will be kids attitude. She said that they they told the kidlet that playing dodgeball can get you hit in places that hurt, and that it can knock your glassess off. I told her that he wasn't playing with them, and that they singled him out. She blew that off as well. She seems to do that quite often. I'm sure she's had her share of kids who lie about things, but she just doesn't seem to get the fact that my kid doesn't do that. The other teachers have figured it out, though, and have told me that.

The director's boss was walking by and overheard part of the conversation. He went in to talk to the director about the situation. The director said she'd have the teacher that observed what happened call me. I'm not holding my breath.

I hate the fact that my son keeps getting bullied at daycare. Unfortunately, it's the only daycare that he can go to, due to our work schedules. I could spend more money and hire someone to watch him at home. However, he needs the social interaction of the daycare. It's very frustrating.

I need to have a talk with the children's program director about teaching the teachers (and daycare director) about bullying. I know that there are programs on how to minimize it and how to handle it. I'm beginning to think that they need training for it. With his disability, he's a prime target for bullies. I feel bad for him. I wish that there was more I could do. I could quit my job and stay home with him. However, my concern is that I'm possibly going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life, and we need the funds. Besides, isolating him at home isn't necessarily good, either.

Bionic Woman

2007-02-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

Went to physical therapy again today. I had my muscles contracted by something called a Russian Stimulator. That felt funky. My leg muscles are a bit sore, more on my left leg than my right. Which is ironic, since the right leg was receiving a higher jolt. However, the higher current wasn't causing the muscle to contract like the lower current was on the left leg. Odd.

So, I spent an hour and a half at PT. The last 15 minutes of that was icing my knees down. That felt pretty good. I'm thinking about throwing an ice pack on my left one, as I'm feeling some pain this evening.

The PT also taped both of my knees. I don't think the tape is aligned quite right on the left one. On top of that, the tape makes my knees look rather unattractive. If I play with anyone, I'm going to have to remove the tape, or they're going to have to ignore it.

I have a feeling I'm going to be a bit sleepy this evening. I'm tired enough that I will probably zonk out in a hurry.

PT is fun

2007-02-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

I went today for my evaluation for physical therapy. Looks like I'll be going twice a week. Could be more, but the regular PT was out of town, and she may decide to increase my time. We'll see.

As it sits, I get to do stretches, muscle flexes, among other things. She taped my knee, so I get to wear tape on it for several days. It's supposed to survive the shower. It feels funky. I guess it's supposed to. It doesn't hurt, which is good. It just feels funky. We'll see how long it lasts.

My right knee is taped and my left isn't. I'm sure that looks rather sexy. However, my left knee hurts a bit, so maybe the tape is working.

Knees Update

2007-02-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

Came back from the clinic where I got my checkup.

The ortho guy doesn't want me to have surgery yet. He'd rather me try some physical therapy first. Turns out, my kneecaps don't ride in the channel on my leg bones. They slide off to the side and rub on the outside 'bump' on the top of the leg bone, which causes grinding. A LOT of grinding. I think it freaked the doctor out a bit. I may still have to have surgery, but that's not currently our first option.

According to the doc, I would've made a good gymnast. I've got 'loose joints', which translates to flexibility. Not that I've noticed, but hey, he's the expert. This is also why my shoulders grind, but since they don't hurt, we won't mess with them.

The rest of my health seems to be fine. My cholesterol was 145.

I ended up leaving early a day and the hotel didn't charge me, so it worked out. Nice enough hotel, but the walls were a bit thin. I had a really good lunch one day, but only a so-so dinner. I wished to go out and eat at other restaurants, but my hubby's uncle was in town for his followup appointment to his heart surgery and it got postponed a day. His ride home had to leave, so I got to take him back the next day (since I had my followups). Which meant crappy meals from then on out, as he has no sense of taste when it comes to food. We ate at Taco Bell, Quiznos (which he didn't eat at, that was for his ride - my niece), and El Pollo Loco.

Ugh.

***************************************************

I directed the children's choir for the first time today during a church service. They sang a couple of songs. They did pretty good. I feel like I did okay. Hopefully, the kids will come to get to know me and like me. The only kinda creepy part of it all is that I direct the kids during Sunday School (as a part of their classes). All of the other teachers stick around in the room, gabbing in the corner. At one point, I wanted to tell them all to shush, as they were getting a bit loud. I didn't, though. It just felt weird, being watched.

I think the kids had fun, though. They made me proud.

I'm Getting Old - Part 24

2007-02-02T18:25:00.000-08:00

My knees sound horrible these days. I'm starting to think I complain too much about health ailments. First, cracked heels (which are fine now, by the way), heartburn, and now my knees. My knees have been shot for a long time. Both of my knees and both of my shoulder joints make a wonderful grinding noise. I have had knee issues since I was a teenager. I was told that I'd have chronic tendonitis in both knees my entire life. They never bothered me that much, so I'd just take some ibuprofen when they ached, and I'd be fine. As of late, I've been having to take ibuprofen several times a week. Something 'gave' in my knee a month or so ago. So, I decided I'd have them looked at.

The problem with living in BFE is that we have crappy doctors here. Okay, so they're not all crappy, but the orthopedic surgeon that we currently have is. I had seen a previous ortho guy about my shoulders, but he felt that they could wait. I still think they can wait, as they don't hurt (which is why he didn't advocate surgery). I don't think my knees can wait any longer. Which means an out of town appointment. I figured if I was going to go to a major medical clinic several hours away, I might as well have everything checked out. So, they take 2-4 days to do a complete physical, due to scheduling and tests.

So, now hotel room is booked and I'm picking up a rental car. Yeah, the cost of the hotel room and the rental car (hotel is $110/night, and the rental car is $25/day) for four days isn't going to be all that cheap, but I can deal. It's not like I'm poor or anything. So, getting the whole lube/oil/filter thing. We'll see if I need surgery. Probably do. Joy. At least the hotel has free wireless internet. And a continental breakfast. And milk and cookies at bedtime. And wine and cheese in the evening.

***********************************************

I was talking with a coworker of my spouse at lunch a few days ago. He asked me if I'm still liking my new job. I replied in the affirmative. He said that I looked much happier these days. I think I am. I didn't realize how toxic things were. I considered myself a happy person. I did my best not to bring my work home with me. I ranted here about the worst parts of it. I liked the work. I just didn't like some of the attitudes. My current place has some issues from time to time, but what workplace doesn't? And it's taken this long for the first issue to crop up. I like my job. I like the respect I get. What more can a girl ask for? Well, more money, but that will happen eventually.

***********************************************

How sad is it that I like this silly blanket thing that my mom got me for Christmas? It's almost like a muu-muu.
One of my online friends called it his wife's "'no' outfit". I love that.

***********************************************

I got asked (i.e. suckered) into directing the children's choir at church. I hope I do a good job with it. The woman who has been directing them just feels like she's overextended and asked to step down. She was going to stay on until I felt comfortable, then I would take over. I figured it would be easier for the children to transition that way. I would be fully in charge by the first of April, as the director wasn't going to be there then, and the kids would be performing. Okay, I figured all of that would work well. I get an email from her a couple of days ago. Her husband is getting promoted and the ceremony is out of town (military). It's a week from now. The kids are performing. I don't know their songs and one has so many words that they're tripping over their own tongues. This could be bad. Oh well. I can only do what I can do.

I really hope I enjoy the kids. I think this may be a good fit for me. If not, I haven't lost anything. If anything, I'll get to know some of these kids a little better. That can't be a bad thing. If I do well, hopefully the kids will have good memories of church and singing, like I did when I was younger. I still remember my youth choir director from my old church. I saw her when I was visiting home at Thanksgiving. She still remembered me, even though she hasn't seen me for 12 years, roughly. I had a great time in youth choir with her. I want my 'kids' to feel the same way.

***************************************

So, I guess that's it for the moment. My plans for the evening are to eat some crab legs, and possibly watch some TV. Maybe the movie Groundhog Day is in order on this February 2nd.

So, the New Year is Coming

2006-12-28T23:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, Jimmy, the New Year is fast approaching. This is the time of year where people usually take stock in their lives, reevaluate their decisions, and try to make changes for the better. New Year's resolutions and all that jazz, notwithstanding.

Me, on the other hand, just keep right on going along. I don't make New Year's resolutions. I do my best NOT to second-guess the decisions I made during the year. Yes, you can learn from your mistakes. But, Virginia, you can't go home again. So there's no real benefit gained from constant reevaluation. I think it's too easy to get stuck in the past that way. If you're stuck in the past, you can't live in the present, and you miss quite a bit of life that way.

So, life. Live. Love. Learn. Liberty. Livery. Labia.......I think I'm dissembling.

So, anyway. I've had people 'complain' that I don't update my blog "ever". Okay, so it's been almost 2 months. I've been a tad bit busy.

********************************

Went to a professional conference in San Diego for a week. Stayed in a decent enough hotel room. I had a GREAT view of the water. Also had a great view of North Island and the Coronado bridge. Fog was interesting the last 2 mornings. Sucks waking up to a foghorn, though. I was bored out of my skull during some of the meetings. I also had a fun time here and there and had some nice seafood dinners. Lobster tortellini. Yum. I also was standing in line at a nearby lunch counter, with a badge stating where I worked. This guy standing next to me strikes up a conversation. He asks me if I know Inigo Montoya (not his real name). I said, "Yes, he's my husband." Turns out, I have had dinner with this guy before. He had been in town on business and was a beta-tester for some software that my husband wrote. So I ended up sitting with him at lunch, having a conversation about my spouse and work. My coworkers sat at a nearby table. They were giving me a hard time later on about my "lunch date". Apparently, I'm picking up strange men at conferences.

I did get a cool t-shirt out of the deal, though. Everyone who goes to these conferences gets a t-shirt. On the back it says, "Yes, as a matter of fact I AM a rocket scientist!" So, those of you who know which t-shirts I'm talking about now have a good idea of what conference I was attending.

***************************************

On to the more mundane things in my life (and part of why I haven't updated here much). I hate Christmas shopping. I have to purchase for 21 people. My nieces and nephews on my side, my nices on my spouse's side, parents, siblings, spouses, grandparent, and great-uncle (very close), and my spouse and child. Ugh. Invariably, I forget to buy for someone. I think I'll get to it the next day and forget that I haven't purchased, or leave someone off of the list that I've made. It's easy to happen when you're purchasing for 21 people.

I may make the hubby buy gifts next year.

**************************************

I hate dry, winter months. This year, I seem to be having problems with my heels cracking. They're quite rough and want to peel. I'm trying to stop myself from doing that, as they'll bleed and won't heal. I used to peel the skin as a teenager, and I'm trying to keep from damaging them now, since I know how long they took to heal back then. I spend a lot of time on my feet at work, in terrible shoes (but required by the job, for safety reasons). So, I pulled out the pumice stone/sander thing, and rubbed away as much of it as I could, then slathered my heels with Bag Balm. Ugh. That is some of the greasiest, nastiest stuff. It smells bad. However, I'm really hoping it helps my heels. I've also got some cracked skin lotion from Dr Scholl's that I've used on my elbows that worked wonders, so if the Bag Balm doesn't work, I'm going for the Dr Scholl's.

Because, you know, there's nothing sexier than cracked heels. Especially when they're rubbing on the backs of a new lover's legs.

(And if you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm talking.)

*************************************

Oh, and in the interests of updating you all on my love life....the coworker who was hitting on me beginning back in August? He got a blowjob from me on Tuesday in the office. I think I made him happy.

*************************************

So, other than that, aside from the recurring bout of heartburn that I've been having on an almost daily basis, nothing else is really happening in my life.

Maybe I'll take stock, reevaluate my life this past year, and decide where I want to go in the New Year.

Nah.

I need new glasses

2006-11-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

I got new glasses just a few months ago. I'm not very happy with the prescription. One lens is off a bit. The frames I chose have a half-frame appearance. Since I have a really thick lens on one side, I get the ultra light lenses to replace it, so they aren't off balance. Which ended up making one side rather thin, due to the astigmatism. I looked at them and the lens has spalled at the edge where it is next to the joint between the frame and the plastic wire that holds the lens 'in'. It's far enough out of my eyesight that it doesn't bother me, but obviously there is a problem.

******************************

Had a great conversation with my son this evening.

"Mommm?! Is it 2006?"

I reply, "Yes."

"I need to go to the bathroom."

I'm still trying to figure that one out.

He and I have spent the last 4 days at home together. For the most part, he hasn't driven me nuts. Could have something to do with the fact that I've been medicating him. Although, he gets speed when he's medicated (essentially), which helps him breathe, but it can make him really hyper. If it's doing its job correctly, then he doesn't get all wound up (since he needs it). He's only been wound up one evening and the rest of the time, he's been a pretty normal kid. Who has missed 4 days worth of school. One of his friends that lives in the neighborhood brought home his homework for him, part of it at least, so he wouldn't be so far behind. He'll have a spelling test tomorrow, so hopefully he does well enough at it. We've been practicing, but I need to quiz him on the words.

Being a mom is sooo much fun. Although, if something happened to him, I'd be heartbroken. I'd want to have another child (since he is an only) because I have that love to share, but I'd worry about my age and my occupation. I work with some nasty chemicals. I'd have to be very careful during pregnancy (and the damage may already be done). Hubby has had a vasectomy, so that would present a problem as well. It's something we've discussed, though, hubby and I. If we decided to have another child, we'd probably ask a friend of mine to provide the sperm (as well as the orgasm to go with it). The friend doesn't have kids and wants them. We'd have that person be involved completely, although it would confuse my family a bit.

Odd thoughts on this Thursday evening, I guess.

Boy, I'm old!

2006-10-31T18:25:00.000-08:00

I had to laugh. I was looking at my profile (embarassingly enough, to see how many profile views it had after viewing someone else's profile and noticing the numbers). I noticed that I am, apparently, 250 years old. I had left my birth year out of my profile, but Blogger put in the year 1756 as my birth year. Cracks me up.

I guess I look pretty good for a 250 year old.

I swear, officer! I ran into a wall.

2006-10-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

You know how you can walk around in your own home, in the dark and know your way around? I so totally can do that. I can do that at work as well. At least, in one building, anyway. I no longer work in that building, so it's no longer a particularly useful skill, but still.

So, 2 nights ago, I'm turning off all the lights on my way to bed. Somehow, I drifted about a foot further to the left than I thought, and ran smack into the wall. I broke my nose. Seriously.

I fully expected to have black eyes, but it didn't seem to happen, thankfully. I can just see explaining that to people. "I promise. I walked into a wall. No, my husband doesn't beat me." Furtunately, the spouse was out of town for work, so unless my 9 year old suddenly has gotten mean, I'm good.

So, my nose hurts. On top of that, it's more crooked than it was before. I broke my nose as a teenager, and it listed a little bit to my right. Now, it lists even more that direction. And, my head hurts. I seem to have a massive headache today and I'm rather sleepy. I wouldn't call it a concussion, considering I felt fine yesterday (aside from the sore nose). I think going to bed late has caught up with me.

I also need to get out of the house and go to the grocery store. With a pounding head, I'm not sure I can do it. Maybe tomorrow, unless I can convince the spousal unit to make a quick run.

My Childhood

2006-10-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

I received an email today from a reader. It occurred to me that I'm not sure I have ever posted a small piece of my childhood. It makes an interesting story, hopefully. If I have, forgive me for repeating myself. I've been blogging since 2004, which surprises me really, as I never thought I'd stick with it that long. It's easy to repeat yourself over several years. It's like telling a story to your friends, not realizing that you've told it before, or which friend you told it to.

When I was somewhere around 9, I guess, I began my obsession with sex. Big surprise, now that you know my current life, but back then, it was probably not really age appropriate. I'd sit up at night, watching scrambled playboy channel on cable, trying to see body parts. My dad ended up hacking our cable box and was able to receive the playboy channel. While watching, I finally saw my first penis. It being the playboy channel, and not hardcore, they were rather floppy. I remember being surprised that guys have pubic hair. I knew women did, but had no idea that men did as well. I was rather amazed. So, life goes on and I continue my sneak peaks at tamed down erotica. Growing up in my portion of the bible belt, you couldn't get real porn, just 'cable porn'. I thought sex sounded cool. It sounded like something that should be fun. I knew the basics of how sex worked. You put a penis in your vagina and slide it in and out. Somewhere around 12, I decided to try it out. I put various round objects up there and slid them in and out. Really, it didn't do much for me. No big surprise, as I hadn't found my clit yet. So, I was rather nonplussed about the whole act. Still, sex was supposed to be great, so I figured I just wasn't doing it right. Then, here comes the big revelation....I wanted to be a prostitute. I figured that prostitutes get to have all the sex they want AND get paid for it! How awesome would that be? Yes, I didn't know the realities of it, and most prostitutes you saw on TV shows were clean and made lots of money. Yeah, I figured all of that out, eventually.

Ended up losing my virginity at age 14 to a 17 year old. Yes, we used protection. I also think his friends were spying on us from the closet (it ajoined the closet in the next room). They spied on us when we were making out, so it makes sense that they watched the actual sex act. While it was enjoyable, and I wanted to do it again (did the next night - same boy), I never really did.

Sometime after that, I discovered my clit, but in a very odd way. I used the pool jet flowing over my clit and discovered the orgasm. It was a very abrupt way of doing it, rather too hard, so I had to deflect the water across it. I figured out how to have an orgasm that way, and while it made my knees weak, it wasn't as enjoyable as they became when I figured out how to do it with my finger. I learned that somewhere around my freshman year in college, I think. Once I did, I never went back to the water jet thing. It was kinda painful. Anytime I manipulate that part too much, it gets sore.

For me, sex requires clitoral manipulation. Well, it doesn't require it, but my orgasms do. I wish I were one of those multi-orgasmic women that can get off with actual sex and not just masturbation. That would be awesome, especially in light of my 'extra-curricular activities'. But it's not. So, I play the hand that I was dealt (left hand for that particular activity, by the way - even though I'm right handed).

Boy, My Life is Boring!

2006-09-08T16:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing is really going on in my life worth reporting on, these days.

I've moved into the new office space. Our move was delayed a few weeks due to paperwork issues. So I now live in a cube farm. It's a nice cube farm, in that all the cubes are on the outside walls. The inner walls are filled with bathrooms, conference room, etc. I do get visitors to my cube from time to time, so having that 'status symbol chair' (as a friend of mine puts it), makes it nice for visiting. Yesterday, there was a box in it, and my PI (principal investigator) complained that there was a box in his seat. :D I also have candy in my cube, so I'm guaranteed to have visitors from time to time. Apparently, candy is my PI's weakness (no big surprise there), so I see him a lot. Good thing I like him.

I got a raise this year. It amounts to about 5%. We'll see what we get in the way of cost of living from the government come January.

**********************************

Nothing too new on the "flirting co-worker" front. This week was a short week at work, so there hasn't been much opportunity. I did have an exchange with him, via email, on the first of this month. It basically means that we'll be playing when we get the opportunity.

Here's part of the exchange -

Basically, a while back, I told him that I had fantasized about the two of us in his van. He emailed me today that he had brought his van in. Since I'm usually not in my office, now that I've changed jobs, my lunch time changes around quite a bit, depending on what I'm doing. I told him that I would be free around lunch (his lunchtime). He was going to try and get away. If he did, he said he had to figure out where we could hide out. I mentioned my house. His response?

Quote:
"I didn't think about your house.
Hhhmmmmm, that would probably be the safer place.
We wouldn't have as much time though.
But before I get all worked up, let me see whats happening.
If I start thinking about pulling your hips down hard on me now, I'll be in trouble all morning."

I said that we wouldn't have much time, but it really depended on how far he wanted to go. His response?

Quote:
"Well if we were someplace comfortable, and safe I would want you on your back with your legs around me."

I'm pretty sure something will happen, sooner or later.

***********************************

Still liking my new job, though. Which is good. I'm happier, so my spouse is happier. He's gotten tired of me complaining about the old one.

**********************************

Oooh, we're going to Vegas next weekend to see some college friends of ours. They don't live there (live in the Dallas area), but the wife is going there for some training (she's a physical therapist). Since Vegas is only a 4 hour drive, we're going to go see them. We're sharing a suite, so we can hang out and bullshit when we're tired of the casinos or walking around. I love these people. We always have gotten along with them. I'm just sad that they don't live closer. This couple is now completely aware of our extra-marital activities. They really aren't surprised by it. We'll see how things go up close and personal. I forsee some interesting questions/conversations with them. No, I don't think it will turn into anything else beyond that. My hubby would jump at the chance to jump on the wife, as he has always found her attractive. However, I don't think she feels the same way. I also don't think that he finds me attractive. He's never flirted with me at all. I love them to death, though, so I can't wait to see them.

*********************************

My sister and her kids (and my mom) are coming out to California. My sister is taking them to Disneyland since they haven't been before. My mom suggested it as a way to get to see us, combined with a fun trip. Since my newphew is almost 12, my mom was pushing for it before he got too old to enjoy it. My sister is letting him bring a friend so he won't get bored. My niece is 6 months younger than my son, so they get to hang out together. Hopefully they'll get along. They always have. My son's pretty easy going. I just hope Disney is as great as they were the last time we were there. My newphew broke his leg and is going around on crutches right now. We'll see if he needs to rent a wheelchair or something while we're there.

********************************

So, that's it. That's the update to my boring life. Kinda makes you wish for some excitement, doesn't it?

Surreal Lunch

2006-08-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

One of my coworkers from my old branch (before the job change) started flirting with me today. In a BIG way. He's been a little flirty here and there. However, since I am no longer in the branch, he is flirting a lot harder than he has ever had before. I asked him why that was, what was different. He told me (in emails) that it was because I was no longer in the same branch. He didn't feel that it was a good idea to do it before.

I don't think he knows of my 'extra-curricular activities' although he may suspect from comments dropped here and there.

I'm just wondering if he is wanting to take it further. I wonder if he and his new wife (just married for a couple of years or so) 'play'. Several years ago, before he got married, he mentioned something to me about going to a nudist party. Maybe he was trying to see how I'd respond to that.

His wife is a very attractive woman. In no way could I ever compete with her body. She is an attractive woman and is very outgoing and personable. I am outgoing and personable, and have a very attractive face, but in no way am I in her league, body wise. So, either he isn't happy at home, is just looking for 'extra-curricular activities', or she is fully aware. All of them paint an interesting scenario.

Still, it seems strange.

In the past, I was sorta sexually harassed (not IMHO, but the boss's opinion - I just thought the guy was behaving like a jackass) by one guy. He said that he had heard that I had slept with 4 people that I worked with. Not at all, obviously. However, when I was having a conversation about that with one of the women I worked with, we were discussing that all of the guys I was 'accused of sleeping with' were real 'winners' with the exception of one. The one is the guy currently flirting with me. Odd, huh?

Saturday Stuff

2006-08-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

I spent part of my day accomplishing something. I mowed the lawn. I took a shower.

That's enough for the day.

I take that back. I did go to the grocery store and bought a few things. A friend posted a recipe for chicken enchiladas that looked good. So I bought stuff to make it. I couldn't decide which one I would like more - corn or flour tortillas. So I made a batch that had half of each. I th ink I liked the flour better. They weren't hot enough. I think I need to add some more spice if I decide to make it again.

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I'm so looking forward to the new season of Doctor Who. I wonder how well David Tennant is going to enjoy the role. He is a British actor (obviously - since it is a British show) that isn't well known over on this side of the pond. Some of you Harry Potter fans will recognize him as Barty Crouch in the latest movie. Such a small part for him. Hopefully Doctor Who will fit him to a tee (or should I say 'tea' since he's British?).

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Moving into the new office building this week. Time for a cube. I'm worrying where I'm going to fit all of my stuff. I am moving from a much larger office into a smaller one. I'll be glad once I'm there and my computer is there. At that point, I can actually start putting stuff up where I'd like it. Right now, things are just kinda thrown onto the desk. This week, I have to test out the new mixers that we've gotten. Since I'm the only one in the branch who has used the software before, the boss wants me to test it out with a couple of the other guys. I can kinda show them the ropes, so to speak. It will be a bit interesting, though, considering that these guys have so many more years experience than I have. Oh well. It's nice to be appreciated.

Speaking of, I got a nice compliment from the guy that I'm working with/for (not the branch head). He was apparently looking for a new job, due to the amount of work that he had going on. He was snowed under, and his boss's response to him when he complained was that he needed to manage his time better. Instead, he hired a post-doc to help him out. When my name came up that I was looking for a job, I think this guy jumped at the chance to get me. I'm someone who wouldn't need to be trained on how to handle explosive materials, nor would I need to be trained on how to mix. The only thing I need to become familiar with is the smaller quantities and how to weigh them out (different techniques) and how their current equipment operates. They have some paperwork differences that I've been picking up on. Otherwise, it's pretty much the same. The guy I work for/with said that I've taken a lot of the work off his shoulders. My response was that I hadn't had a chance to do that as of yet (waiting on my team leader certificatons with the new branch SOP's). His response was that, while I am not taking much load off, I am taking some. He says that he can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it no longer looks like a train.

What a nice compliment.

Speaking of my cube, my hubby did something sweet for me. I got him an iPod stereo for his birthday. I liked it so much, he bought one for me as a surprise. What a nice guy.

The Drought Is Over!

2006-08-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

I've finally found some rain....of a sort.

Got to play with an old playmate of mine today. Kinda stumbled into it. I'd given up on him. He started working with my spouse and I think he felt a bit awkward at work. I guess he finally got over it. Since I'm single for the weekend (hubby and kid are out of town), I may get another opportunity to play with him. It's a bit up in the air, but it would be interesting. :D

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Work is going well. Three weeks with the new group. I can already tell that one guy is kind of a waste. Fortunately, I'll rarely have to work with him. The guy I'm working with/for primarily is a nice guy. I like him. We seem to get along well. He says that I have saved his sanity. That's always a good thing to hear. The other guy that works with me (post doc PhD)is a nice guy. A bit cute, in a nerdy kind of way, which I like. I'm a sucker for the slightly nerdy.

I tried hitting on him a tad. He got divorced 6 months ago. I have this maternal instinct, wanting to make him more chipper. He's sad and a bit depressed. I like people happy. I'd also like to make him 'happy' if you know what I mean, but I don't think it will ever go there. So, I probably should dial it down a bit. I don't want to get into trouble for sexual harassment. I also wouldn't want to alienate him, since I have to work with im.

Oh well. Such is life.

New Job - but Still Doing the Same Thing....Sorta

2006-07-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm changing jobs, thank goodness. I was looking for a different position. I applied for one that my chances of getting were rather slim. One of the engineers I work with heard that I was looking for a new job. He took it upon himself to contact another branch that does propellant formulation, and told them I was looking to change branches. I recommended me to them (and told me that I was the person who he would recommend the most). Their branch head came to my office during lunch on Thursday and talked with me. He told me it would be a couple of weeks before I heard anything, as he had to talk with the chemists and engineers within his branch to see what they thought. After that, he had to go up his chain of command, over to my chain of command, and down to my boss to feel things out. It took less than 2 business days, it seems, as my current boss came in on Tuesday at lunch (we had Friday off) and said that, seeing how I didn't see fit to tell him about it, that he was letting me know the paperwork was going t hrough. I was rather surprised by all of that. On Friday morning, I finally got a call offering me the job. He wants me to start Monday morning.

It's going to be interesting around the office, though, for the next couple of months. I'm not moving out of my office space immediately. The branch I am moving into is physically moving into a brand new building. It isn't ready for us yet, so we're having to wait. It doesn't make sense to move all of my stuff (as well as my computer, thank you very much NMCI) twice within a couple of months. So I'm just going to drive the 5 minutes from my office building to theirs for work.

Advantages to the new job - my boss doesn't watch the clock. I can set my own hours. For a while, I'll be mirroring the hours of the chemist I'll be working with, or the guy who will be training me so I can get my certifications on their equipment. Once I certify, I can pretty much set my own hours. My current boss watches the clock like a hawk these days. It pretty much stresses people out. This will be much nicer. Another advantage - I'll be doing the formulation on my own, under the guidance of a chemist. Which means, I'll truly be a rocket scientist. :D

So, yay for me. The couple of jerks that I work with will think that they 'won'. I hate to give them that kind of satisfaction. However, I'll earn a heck of a lot more respect than they will ever have, due to my new position. I may end up going on travel more, and I'll end up being co-author on several papers with the chemists, as we will work hand in hand. As it is, I am a co-author on a technical paper with one of their chemists already (but she has just retired).

A few people in my old branch have expressed sadness that I'm going. One of them, happily, is my supervisor. He understands, but says he's sad to see me go. That's nice to know.

Only disadvantages at this point are - the fact that it is evaluation/raise/bonus time and I might get screwed if they're upset with me going. It can happen with transfers at eval time. Fortunately, there is a system set up for appeals and I think I could win one. The other disadvantage is that I'll be working with new materials, cutting edge stuff, that we don't know that much about, so it will be a bit more dangerous. It will be in much much much smaller quantities, to minimize the danger. I'll be working with batches as small as 5 grams (maybe even smaller) instead of as high as 2200 pounds.

Why do people placate jerks?

2006-06-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. God. I work with such a crybaby.

We have a mix that was scheduled for next week and one for this week. Well, the hardware for next week's mix came in, so the jerk I work with wants us to mix it this week (and maybe the engineer, but she isn't here this week, so all I get is some garbled statements from the supervisor). However, the tech has to talk to our customer about it first, since it would be pushing that stuff up a week. I asked when we would know, since setup for it from my end would change. Supervisor said we'd know at 8:30, and then my coworker was saying something about noon. Mostly, it makes things extra annoying. If we don't mix it, I'll have leftover ingredients in the bay, which would mean repackaging it and putting it back in the rest house, which is doubly annoying. On top of that, I have a mix that I will have to get ready for that starts the very next day after this one, with completely different ingredients. Normally, we have a day in between to get ready for it, but not this time. Which is the entire reason why I wanted to know earlier. So I ask a question about why we're doing it early, and the jerk I work with starts shouting and storms out of the meeting. My supervisor took the opportunity to say that we "needed to work together". However, it was said out of the earshot of the one person who really needs to hear it. I said that I wasn't the one who was having those problems and said I wasn't the one who was acting like a baby (said loudly enough for the jerk to hear as he walked down the hall). Probably not my best moment, but I have had enough.

I went to my supervisor's office and asked if I was the person who needed to "work together" due to my question. He answered in the affirmative. I told him that was crap (not in so many words). I've tiptoed around that jackass for 6 months and *I'm* not the one playing team ball? I told my supervisor it was crap like that that makes me want to leave the branch. He said it was just one person. My response was that I am not the one causing the problem, but it was the attitude that I needed to "work together" and not him that was unfair when I wasn't the one being unreasonable. He said that it wasn't me, that he said that statement for "everybody's benefit." Except the one person who needs to hear it left the meeting.

Arrgggh. It just chaps my hide.

Things are getting better

2006-06-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

I guess it's time for a work update.

The two jerks are finally starting to come around a little bit. Not quite giving me the cold shoulder. The one who threatened me in my office has smiled at me a time or two, and has asked for my help. I'm glad that's going better, in that it sucks to have to tap dance around him. The other guy (the one who bought the shirts) had been giving me the cold shoulder for a long while made a comment to me on Monday. My husband had gone into my office and was getting some money out of my purse. The guy said to me, "There's some guy in your office stealing money from your purse." I looked at him and asked if it was my hubby and he stopped, considered and said that it was. He was grinning.

So, at least that's getting better. Although, apparently, they were giving our female engineer a hard time the other day. It seems to go in cycles.

I had been complaining to my supervisor and requesting training. He asked me this week what certifications I was close to getting. My answer was none. He asked me which ones I wanted to get and I told him which ones. He wrote them down, so hopefully, I'll start getting training in those. He scheduled someone else to do a mix this week and I was involved in lining some rocket motor tubes as a refresher (I had done it several times, but it had been a while). I did a good job. According to the coworker who was working with me, I had done it faster than they had done it the previous week. With the material we work with, 'pot life' can be an issue, so the faster it can be done, the better. So, woohoo!

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This week, the kidlet has been going to cubscout camp (during the evening). We've been going after work and staying until late. I've only been getting about 6 hours sleep and the kidlet hasn't been getting much more. This morning, he woke up exhausted, as did I. I decided that we weren't busy at work today, so I took the day and let the kid sleep in. Hopefully, the supervisor isn't upset. He didn't seem to be when I talked with him. So, the kidlet got sleep, I took a couple hour nap and all is right with the world. Hopefully, he'll have a good time this evening at camp. Last night, he had fun shooting bows and arrows. No one got hurt, which was good. :) Tonight, I have to go to choir, so the hubby is going to take my place at camp and we'll switch off when I'm done with practice. More camp tomorrow - all day. But, when he's done, he'll have earned some new belt loops for his uniform.

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Now, I'm counting down the days before vacation. We're taking a few days and going to Vegas with lots and lots of friends. About 80 of us are going to be converging upon TI and have a massive party. The TI staff has been great and is setting up a poker room as well as a craps lesson (which they don't normally do) for us. What a great staff.

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I guess that's enough for now. Aside from the fact that I'll be a year older next week (34 for those of you who care). I guess I will now be in my mid 30's. I don't feel old. It's amazing how fast things go by. Still, it's nice being able to do what I want, even if I don't have the body of an 18 year old anymore.

Anniversaries

2006-05-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. That 13 number might give some people pause, especially those with triskaidekaphobia. However, as I am not one of those people, I am just amazed at how time has flown by.

We've been rolling along pretty well. It doesn't seem like yesterday that we got married at this point. 5 years ago it seemed that way, but now, it feels like it's been a while. We've got a 9 year old son who is a very sweet kid. This weekend, I was looking at him and realized that in 4 years, he's going to be a teenager, and that he's halfway to adulthood. I realized that I really am not going to have him for all that long. I haven't had him for that long to begin with. It seems like childhood is such a race. You're always pushing for the finish line and don't get to enjoy the day. I have a feeling that we'll have our son longer than many, but it will still be sad when he finally grows up. That's what I'm supposed to want for him. Anyway, I got all teary thinking about it, and I mentioned how long before he's grown. It made him sad and he had a hard time going to sleep. I forgot that moods can rub off on him, that he gets over-emotional. I should've thought about that before I got teary eyed.

I don't get teary thinking about my wedding. It was a nice day. It was a short wedding. It was a good day. We had a nice time at the reception. We kept it small and did it at my parents' house. I figured it would be more comfortable than having it at the church. Too bad they didn't have their current house as that would've been a great place for it. The only negative thing about the whole thing was the fact that I got sick on our honeymoon. We had to come home early. Vomiting and diarrhea isn't a fun way to spend your honeymoon.

We settled into married life quickly and easily. We didn't live together beforehand, but we did spend quite a bit of time together. We never fight, less than once a year. Marriage is easy for us. Sometimes that worries me, but most of the time, I just enjoy it.

That's not to say that there haven't been times that things weren't idea. My libido sucked for a while. I blame that mostly on being on the pill for 15 years with no real break except for the 9 months I was pregnant (got pregnant immediately after stopping the pill). So, there were times that I didn't want sex. When my husband got his vasectomy, things got much better. I'm still not the nympho I was in college. I kinda miss that girl. However, I'm not sure I enjoyed sex as much. I mean, I did enjoy the nature of it, and it was fun. I'm just not sure I had all that many orgasms. Maybe that's why we did it so often. :D Either way, we can never go back to what we are. All we can do is move forward and grow.

I feel like I'm not that old. I'm almost 34. To me, that sounds very young. Growing up, I always felt that 40 wasn't old, per se, but it was middle aged. How can I be middle aged in 6 years? I haven't been an adult all that long. At least, it seems that way. Odds are, I'll live to be in my 90's, so 40 just doesn't seem that middle aged to me. I wonder how I'll feel at 40.

I have a happy life and I'm content with it. There are always things that could be better, but that is on the job front and not at home. The only thing that would make our home life perfect would be the addition of a housekeeper. :D

RANT

2006-05-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

Oh, man. I was reading through a few of my previous posts and it reminded me of a conversation I had with my boss last week.

I have been comlaining that I'm not getting trained. I've complained about not having work. We had a meeting with a Six Sigma/Kaizen trainer. I mentioned these things as they pertained to the conversation. Some of that got back to my boss. He told me that it wasn't his responsibility to bring work to the branch (well, it is, and if it isn't, whose job is it?). He said that it was in my IDP to bring in work. I told him that it wasn't. I also said that since we weren't supposed to interact with the customers, how could I bring work in. Basically, he was saying that if I didn't have enough work, I was supposed to go to another branch to see if they have any that I can do. Ooookaaaay. One of the guys I work with had attempted to do that in the past and got chastised for it by the boss. Boss told him that his job was here and if he wanted to take another job elsewhere, he needed to leave. I love it when the boss gives conflicting statements. He does it ALL THE TIME. That was another thing I mentioned in that meeting with the kaizen chick. Boss confronted me about that as well. I told him that there are times where he says the exact opposite of what he means. He asked why I didn't speak up when he does that in a meeting. My response was basically, "Because you yell at us." No one wants to talk with him or tell him things. He blows up. He overreacts initially, then comes back later and softens his position. His opinion is that we all know that is what he is like and we need to learn to deal with it, not the other way around. When he blows up, he's cranky for a couple of days or more. No one wants to be around that, so people stop bringing things to him. It's very frustrating.

The boss asked why I didn't say anything to him (and my supervisor) about not getting training. He wanted to know why I said it to someone outside the branch. I told him that I DID mention it to him (and the supervisor). On at least 3 separate occasions in the past year or two.

On the plus side, I did get some training this week. I wonder if my comments had anything to do with that.

One of those days

2006-05-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those days? Those kinds of days you just wish would be over with?

I'm having one of those.

I'm not having a bad day, per se. Just a blah kind of day. It's not any fun, nor is it particularly boring. My life, for the most part, is uneventful. Nothing blew up at work today (even though we were banging on a rocket motor and a mild initiating device with a mallet). We even had an impromptu bbq luncheon (hotdogs and burgers) on the lawn in front of the office. I didn't really chat it up with anyone, and came back into my office for the rest of the lunch instead of staying outside and chatting. Truly bizarre for me, as I'm such a talker.

This week at work, we had to take back an employee we got rid of a while ago. He left of his own accord, but I think he saw the writing on the wall. Unfortunately, since he is an idiot, he ended up getting booted from the job he took. So, now he's back with us. We were forced to take him back, which is an unfortunate reality. We don't want him back, primarily for the same reasons why he got booted from his previous job. It reminds me of those Catholic priests that kept getting moved around from parish to parish. No one wants them, but they don't seem to want to fire the person. So someone always gets stuck with them. Right now, it's our turn in the barrell.

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A friend of mine is having to make a tough life choice. He just got past a crossroads and is finally getting comfortable with his life. Now, he's got to decide if he wants to change it up all over again. That's a hard decision. I wish I could help him, but I can't. Whatever he decides, I hope he doesn't second guess his choice or feel regret. That's easier said than done, but that's my hope for him.

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I've started doing Sudoku online quite a bit. I'm not addicted to it or anything, but it makes for an interesting time waster. It's like doing the crossword puzzle or playing solitaire. Just something to do to while away the time. I bought a program to install on my computer (for $10) that does those kinds of games. I haven't installed it yet, though. I'm wondering if I wasted my money. I figure I'll install it eventually.

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We got a car GPS unit. The type with the map and audible instructions. We have to go out of town from time to time, so we figured we'd eventually get one. My hubby is about to go down to LA with the kidlet for his next doctor's appointment. We've only been there a few times over the past couple of years, so we don't know the route by heart. Besides, we never get lunch in the area, since we don't know where anything is. There are probably some great mexican restaurants, but the kidlet won't eat at any of those places. Of course, his favorite restaurant is Denny's, but there doesn't seem to be one in the area. Kid doesn't seem to like McDonald's anymore. What kind of kid doesn't like McD's? Mine, it would seem. He'll eat there in a pinch, but it is no longer his first choice.

I hope the GPS unit does well. A coworker of mine has the same type that we got. It's got mostly positive reviews on Amazon. There were a few negatives, but, overall, it seems to be okay. Almost all of the negatives are for equipment failures, but they seem to be able to get it changed out by the manufacturer, so it can't be too bad.

Oh, and one more thing

2006-05-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, I lied. It will probably be more than one. :D

My niece is doing better. They're beginning to wean her off of the steroids. I want to see her pretty face again. The steroids have done a number on it. She's way too puffy.

My grandmother, at age 92, now has breast cancer. She's already gotten past 2 colon cancer surgeries. The breast cancer isn't related to the colon cancer. Most likely, it's just due to her old age. She'll end up with a partial mastectomy, most likely. She's a tough old broad. One of these days, I need to list all of the things that she's encountered, injury wise, including the 2 times she set herself on fire, shot herself in the shoulder, and got rammed by a ram. Like I said, she's a tough old broad. She and her identical twin are going strong. They're too cute. They ended up on the front page of the paper a while back. When my mom told me, I asked her why. Her response, "Because they're twins and they're old."

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Am I a bitch? Sometimes I wonder. I was making an explosive mix last week and today. Today is the makeup of the mix we had to scrap last week due to a major power outage here in town. One of the guys who has been around forever, but has a crappy attitude, put too much of one ingredient in. I mildly chastised him, as I was in charge and I was ultimately responsible for the final outcome. He didn't take it so well. He was whining about it today, saying I yelled at him. I told him that if I yelled at him, he'd know it. He's got such a bad attitude about things. I sent him to go put away some explosives with the other guy who was working for me today. I told the other guy that when they finished, that they needed to come back and help out the casting crew. The first guy didn't think they needed to come back. The second guy made him, but the first stopped to take a smoke break. Sheesh. I shouldn't have to tell a guy 30 years older than me what to do. It gets annoying.

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Power outages are fun. We had 8 hours of no power on Friday night. Got a lot of reading accomplished on the back porch. Had a yummy dinner cooked on the grill and a camp stove outside (grilled cajun chicken alfredo). Turned out to be a great dinner. Probably wouldn't have had it had the power been on. Power outages aren't necessarily bad, aside from the no air conditioner. We didn't even do the whole 'let's have sex during the blackout' thing since I was having a visit with my Aunt Flo. Oh well.

An interesting month

2006-05-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

We've had an interesting month with the kidlet. We took Kyle to Disneyland during his spring break. The folks at Disney are great. They gave us an assistance pass that allowed us to bypass most of the wait times on the rides. Considering our child has serious problems with lines and crowds, he would've had a terrible time of it if he had to wait in the main lines. The Disney staff are wonderful. They made our trip so enjoyable, and we're going back again at some point.

This is in a great contrast to our trip to the local fair/carnival. We go twice a year when the fair/festival happens. This is something we've been doing since the kidlet was a toddler. However, the last couple of times, the operators have brought less rides. Also, my son has gotten larger, and can't ride many of the smaller rides. His favorite ride wasn't there this time. So, he had a very difficult time trying to choose which ride he wanted to go on. He kept wanting to try new things, but couldn't figure out what. He finally rode one of the larger rides (Gravitron) and it ended up making him feel bad and want to go home. We did, and he threw up in the car (what a mess!). Poor kid. I felt bad for him. The next night, there were much larger crowds. The rides that he would want to ride had long lines and he was having a difficult time. He shrank away when I tried to introduce him to a woman from work. She had given him some money for his birthday and I wanted to introduce him to her. He panicked and hid his face in my stomach. I felt so bad for him. At one point, while waiting in line with my husband, he apparently got tired of waiting and wandered off. Hubby had a panicked moment while he was locating the kid. Kyle was wandering towards the mirror house by himself.

So, we're looking at getting an assistance dog for our son. It's something that may be of a help to him at school as well as in his private life. We can afford the cost of the dog, but it is a pretty hefty chunk of cash. We may try and seek donations from the community. Fortunately, it's tax deductable, which will help. Now to see if there is a dog available for us. The woman who we're working through is checking with a local trainer and breeder as well as a puppy raising family. I hope it all works out well. This would make an interesting addition to our household.

General Updates

2006-04-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

I had a reader of my blog mention that I should update some of the things that I had posted about. Since I don't post all that often, I don't think about the things that have come and gone.

So.....here are a few updates.

My UTI went away. The CT scan was interesting. I thought I was going to have to drink the dye. The person at the counter told me I needed to pick the stuff up at the hospital pharmacy. Since I was at the hospital with the kidlet, I figured I'd just pick it up before I left. So, in looking for the hospital pharmacy (and not finding it), I went back to X-ray. They had the meds there (they had apparently been out when I went there the first time), but told me I didn't need to drink them. So, went in for the scan and got an IV load of iodine. Nothing wrong with me. I did look at the scan on the computer. The tech let me look. Wow, you can just see all those naked parts there, even though I was completely covered. And, I looked fat. How can you look fat in an x-ray you say? You can. Trust me. Well, that, and the fact that I am fat probably had a lot to do with it. Still, I've lost 16 pounds, so that's something.

My african dwarf frogs all died. I think my tank was too tall. They got too tired swimming to the surface to breathe. So, now I have some sort of fish that the store called a "Golden Dodo". I can't find anything on this thing on the internet. It looks kinda like a 4 inch peach colored eel. It's cool looking, though.

The jackass at work (the donut/t-shirt guy) now basically won't speak to me. It's been months. I'm really getting tired of this crap. We're talking 7 months here. I hadn't realized it was that long. I guess having it in a blog makes me able to go back and review. I did get an award from the Admiral for the work I did on that project (with a whole bunch of others - but that is another story). Basically, I got a certificate. Woo. I'm getting frustrated here. The higher ups have complained that I'm spending too much time on overhead. If my supervisor who schedules work won't give me any, it isn't my fault. I've asked for it. Multiple times. They won't allow us to interface with the customers to get work, our engineers are supposed to do that. If the customer contacts me directly, I have to pass them off to the engineer, who will ask me the very same questions that the customer would've asked me and I could've answered, instead of having to go through an intermediary. I try for patience. I really do.

We have this woman who is going to be our new safety officer. Honestly, I don't think she should have it. I really don't think she's a good person for the job. However, those that are better qualified for it are friends with her and really don't want to step on her toes, as she can get downright vicious if she doesn't get her way. As a person, I like her a lot. I manage to get along with her fairly well. Something interesting came up in conversation with someone yesterday about the whole thing. Apparently, there is a possibility that I'm being considered for her old position. Which would put me in line for the one that she is moving into at a later date. I'm not sure of what all she does, but what I know of the current stuff, I could do really well. It might get boring, though. However, I'm starting to get a little bored here, since I'm no longer being challenged. The work isn't monotonous yet, and it might not ever get there. However, I do like learning new things and I'm no longer getting that. I'm seriously considering putting in for her job. I'm getting more and more bummed around here. I like working with some of the guys, but the ones who I get along with the best are going to be gone in 2 years. Then, it becomes me against the ones that are the most contentious. My current job is fun, but the working environment is really starting to wear on me, mentally. Sooner or later, it will wear on me physically. I don't want to have a blown back because I lifted something too heavy too many times. My family is accident prone, and I am to some extent. Sooner or later, I'll get injured more than I already have (let's put it this way, the clinic on base has x-rays of 2 of my feet and one hand). The job change would make that go away. It's a tough decision. However, I think it may end up being the right one as I just am not all that happy anymore. I was riding in the truck with the guy I heard the 'rumor' from. I asked him where he heard it. Actually, from how he said it, I think he might've recommended me for the position with the division head in a meeting - discussing where things are going. He asked me if I was having fun. He tried to get me to go look at a 16" gun barrell since I hadn't seen one. I continued driving back to the office, since my supervisor wanted us back before too long. I toe the line and I try to make people happy. Unfortunately, they really don't return the favor. It just might be time for a change.

Oh, and the website with lemon in the name.....bad place to visit. Not sure why he wanted me to go there. In some opinions (and mine), that site would be considered sexual harassment. He told me it wasn't safe to view from work, but told me that I just had to see it. It was two 70+ year old men giving each other blow jobs. Why? I just don't get it. This is one of those guys who got hired on after me, and has become one of the golden children, because who he has been scheduled with. I keep getting moved around and don't get the training. He hired on after me, has gotten more training, and has more certifications than I have. There's something wrong there. Ugh. Back to the frustration feelings again.

As far as the new playmate - he was a dud. We had set up a time to meet. He had said that he'd have no problems getting away from home. The first day we were supposed to meet, he wanted me to call him on his cell during work. I did - got voicemail. No return call. He didn't show. Next day, he said he was stuck at work (military) and couldn't get away. That's understandable. We set up another meet for a couple of weeks later. Same thing. Had me call him - didn't answer his cell. He didn't show. Didn't even email me about it for a week. Then, he said he was too nervous to meet with me with my spouse there. He's too emotional about the whole thing, and doesn't seem to be completely truthful. That doesn't inspire trust. So, we sent him packing.

I still need to blog my London experience. I'll get around to it. Can't solve all of the procrastination problems at once. I mean, I've already sent my taxes in a couple of days ago. I'm just amazing. *grin*

Perspective

2006-04-04T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how events can change your perspective on things.

One of my coworkers had his house burn down yesterday. His wife was air-lifted with burns, but they have now downgraded them to 1st degree. Absolutely wonderful. However, with 4 children, and one working parent, money is extremely tight for them. They did have renter's insurance (hallelujah!), but it won't be enough. I've given some money and intend on giving more. I feel like I should do more, since my life is going so well.

The only debt we have at our house is our home. The mortgage is a 30-year, but we should have it paid off in 3 years from now (after a total of 14 years). I remember when we first moved here, money was tight for us. It's amazing how things change over the course of a decade. Makes me thankful for what I have. Since we paid off the cars, my husband and I have been marvelling over how well our life is going as of late, dollar wise. We're no longer worried about paying bills, we've got money in savings, extra in checking. In 3 years, we're going to be able to do some major saving. Life is good.

Last night, I was talking about my future where I work. I feel like my supervisor is holding me back. I've asked multiple times for additional training and he's promised me that I'll get it, but it never happens. It's very frustrating. I like my job. I'm not sure that I would like another one around here as well as I like this one. The advancement potential might be greater elsewhere, but we're at a point where happiness is more important than money. Again, there's that perspective thing. So, while some parts are making me unhappy, I have to learn to be patient. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, I guess.

I've been doing some soul searching as of late. I am a know-it-all. Mostly, it's me trying to be helpful. However, I don't have to be the one who always is the one to pipe up with the answer, or help (however wanted or unwanted). I've always been aggressive about trying to help. Maybe it falls back on the teacher's pet, brown-nosing person that I was growing up. It's just in my nature to try and help or please authority figures. As of late, though, I'm starting to notice that I am getting more annoying instead of less. Maybe it's part of that zeal to succeed, to get ahead here at work. It's going to be hard to dial that back. That may end up hurting me in the long run, but the current method doesn't seem to be helping me any. Of course, what makes it particularly frustrating is that a guy who hired in after me has more training and certifications than I do. I get paid more, but it's very frustrating. There is some jealousy there. I'm not the teacher's pet, so to speak. The only real difference I can see is that I don't quite brown nose as much as he does (although, it is a near thing), and I don't have a penis. Mainly, I think it is the genital equipment that is the major factor. Either that, or I don't spend enough time in the supervisor's office, drinking coffee with him, and being there to help when the opportunity arises. At this point, I'm trying to make my own opportunities, but I need to be willing to accept it when they don't get here, instead of getting mad or jealous.

Maybe I need to learn to meditate. A good friend of mine meditates quite a bit. My house doesn't really lend itself to meditation. Especially with the family that resides in it. The closest I get is me going for a walk at lunchtime, enjoying the rush I get from listening to music. The exercise - not so much. :-)

Still, I get such satisfaction from accomplishment. It's frustrating that my future accomplishments are dependent upon someone else being willing to work with me that doesn't seem overly inclined to do so. His priorities are different, maybe not for me, but his own time constraints. Maybe he just doesn't think about it. Maybe I think too much. I shouldn't try to analyze everything, I guess. It's hard not to take control. Speaking of, I kicked my boss off his computer because it was easier for me to change his settings (lots of them) for a training class than it was trying to walk him through it. Bless his heart, he just lets me do it. It probably makes it easier on him. Still, I'm pushy that way, trying to help.

I think I need some perspective.

Bullies

2006-03-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

Why are people such bullies? I honestly wonder why and how it happens. When I was in 6th grade, I became the target of a couple of bullies. They verbally harassed me only because I responded. After a while, because it became the *fun* thing to do, other classmates jumped on the bandwagon. It was very frustrating because the teacher would do nothing, and when we finally got sent to the principal's office because we "couldn't work it out on our own", they lied and said that I did all of the things that they did to me. So, I was threatened with suspension if I ended up in the principal's office again. Very frustrating for a 6th grader, who was doing the right thing. So, at that point, I learned to take it. Again, I had to stand up to them as an adult, at my current job. And am told in one of the comments that I need to grow up. Why is it the victim's fault? (For those of you following along at home, I responded to that person in the comments section of that previous post).

The reason why I'm saying this is that my son is now experiencing the joys of being bullied. He's in the 3rd grade. His bully is at daycare. Today is St. Patrick's day. I didn't think about it when I dressed him. The shirt he wore has a turquoise-green color on it, but it isn't kelly-green. This kid at daycare pinches him, and leaves a raised, purple welt, almost blood-blister like. The teacher at the daycare tells my son that he can pinch this little boy back because he had been wearing green when he got pinched. So, he pinches the other little boy back, not as hard, and the other little boy slaps my son in the face. The director of the daycare told me to talk to my son about this little boy. My son hasn't really mentioned that this kid is tormenting him, but apparently, he is. The nice thing about my son's disability is that he just doesn't see the reality of some situations, which also makes him an easy target. The director told me to talk to my son, then asked me to start making complaints about this little boy, so he had some ammunition to take to this kid's parents. A few months ago, this child was fine, and now he's a terror. What causes kids to suddenly turn like that? Is it hormones? Is it home environment? I try to figure out the logic behind it and what drives a person to do it.

I'm sure most people have been bullied in their lives, but how many actually become bullies? What pleasure is derived from it? What satisfaction?

Boo!

2006-02-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

My son is about to turn 9 (tomorrow). He has been yelling "boo" at us for months, trying to scare us. Just never happens. We always hear him sneaking up, or even see him, and it just doesn't work.

Until tonight. He managed to sneak up on my husband. Scared the crap out of him. We got a good laugh out of it.

I also managed to get a bit of a scare. My son was in the hospital for 5 days. It was a couple of weeks ago, and I got the itemization from the hospital today. The billed cost (to the insurance) is over $15K. Amazing. Just daily room and board was $990. Good thing we've got good insurance.

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Don't you hate it when your memory malfunctions? A guy I work with wanted me to visit some website. However, I can't remember the name. I do know that it has the word lemon in the name. Not really much help. It might also not be safe for viewing at work. It's driving me nuts not remembering.

**********************************

I hate getting sick when I have no sick leave. I've used all mine up with the kid in the hospital and his various doctors' appointments. This morning, I woke up early with an earache, a headache, and some major mouth and throat pain. I had an infection of some sort in my gums behind one of my wisdom teeth. I took a lot of ibuprofen to reduce the swelling, and I dug around back there with a pick, hoping to clean out whatever it was causing the infection. It feels better now, but I wonder if it's going to come back and bite me in the ass later on.

**********************************

It looks like I might have a new playmate soon. I've been getting to know someone local online. Haven't seen a pic yet, but he seems nice enough. We'll see how it goes.

I'm wondering when I'm going to get found out about my extra-curricular activities by someone I know. I'm sure it will happen sooner or later. Still, it will be interesting seeing reactions.

I'm the Queen of Procrastination

2006-01-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

The wireless card on my laptop was dying. I kept not going to the computer store to buy a new one. I know stuff about computers, but absolutely nothing about networking. So, the procrastination.

Another thing I have procrastinated about....getting new fish for the fish tank. We had added fish a while back, and they managed to completely kill all of the existing fish. It was very sad. We had 10 year old fish. Of course, now our kitten is sitting in front of the fish tank hoping that one of the fish will jump through the glass and allow her to attack. We bought some African Dwarf Frogs and what we thought were some community type fish. Well, one of them was trying to eat the frog, chewing on its leg. I really hope the Frog is okay. I tried to catch it so I could examine its leg, but it hid under some rocks and I couldn't get to it. It had what looked like some algae on its foot, but it could be skin. I fed the fish, thinking maybe they were just hungry. Hope it all works out. I'd hate to have fish kill the frogs.

Lastly, more procrastination...I need to eat dinner, pay bills, and make an appointment. I have a UTI, which was drug resistant. It got worse, then I changed drugs and it's gotten better. However, there are some issues which has made the urologist want to send me to get a cat scan. So, now I need to make an appointment for that. Figures. One more thing to procrastinate.

Bad parenting - or - Why my ex-brother-in-law is a selfish prick

2006-01-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

My ex-brother-in-law is a stupid, lazy man. For a while, when he came out of the closet, he started becoming a better person. He seemed more involved in his children's lives, a more attentive parent, etc. My spouse and I were very happy to see it. We actually liked him, versus the redneck, racist, homophobe he was before. More recently, he started reverting back to his selfish ways. The only real difference is, that instead of being a homebody that ignored his kids, he goes out a lot, spends all of his cash, and ignores his kids.

So, his daughter, now 18, has had difficulty with her knees aching for quite a long time. After the divorce, he really hated having to pay the $15 copay that the insurance company wants for a doctor's visit. Well, his daughter as of late has had major problems with swelling in her shoulders, back, hands and wrists, and it's too painful for her to straighten her fingers. She's having difficulty getting around. Her dad's response was just that she needed exercise and needed to drink more water. He refused to take her to the doctor (she lived with him). She finally got fed up, and moved in with her great uncle. Well, HE took her to a major medical group here in Cal (outside of town) to have her evaluated. Her mom decided to tag along, so she could hear the doc's statements first hand. And, when her dad found out the uncle made an appointment for her, he was furious that they went behind his back.

Turns out, according to her blood test, she has Lupus, but her physical exam indicates Rheumatoid Arthritis, according to the Rheumatologist. She just turned 18 in December. She's been having issues for years, and they've ignored it. They are kinda calling it Rheupus, since it seems to be a combination of both. Having Lupus go untreated could be life threatening. I just want to shake him, and ask him if he still thinks exercise and water will cure her. Of course, when she told him about it over the phone (they're still out of town, and have 2 more days of doctor's appointments), and was asking him if his parents or grandparents had similar issues so she could pass along the answer to her doctor, his response was, "I wonder if that's my problem...." He seems to be perfectly fine. Somehow, he's turned it all around to being about him, with no real concern for her at all.

Just turns my stomach. His whole attitude seems to be so blase, and she's going to be on meds for the rest of her life. And, it may be a shortened life. I just want to wring his neck.

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

2006-01-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

So, we're doing a 30-gallon mix yesterday. Tradition is that if you're doing a mix over a certain size, the engineer in charge brings donuts for the crew, since they are most likely working through lunch. Well, the engineer in charge for this mix is off on leave, so I thought I would be nice and bring them in.

Well, part of the casting crew is the 2 guys who have been giving me so much crap. AFter all of the investigations went down, they haven't spoken a word to me that wasn't required by work. I brought in a dozen donuts for them, and when I walked into the office of Cecil, he gave me a dirty look. So, I made a joke, to kinda lighten things up. I said, "Here's your donuts. It's up to you to figure out which one is poisoned." I figured it might make things easier. Apparently, he complained.

Sheesh.

Thoughts and snippets

2005-11-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

Well, time keeps rolling on. Quite a bit of time has passed.

Jerks still abound at my office. The one that I filed a complaint against came in a week or so later and apologized. However, it was for the wrong thing. Basically, after investigation, it was deemed to give him a letter of caution and put the whole thing in his record. He seems to have a history of similar antics, so they now have a record, since no one has complained before.

So, for a month, things stayed quiet. Until 2 weeks ago. Cecil looked at one of the guys who has a shirt (the one who tried to give it to me) and said, "Nice shirt." It seems that the guy wore his shirt to work. Later on, he apologized for wearing it and promised to not wear it again. One of the ladies I work with called Cecil a twit. Later on, she complained to the supervisor. I never said a word during any of this.

The next week, Cecil looks at the same guy, wearing a different shirt this time, and says, "Nice shirt. That's a real nice shirt." Obviously, trying to dig. Mostly, he just looked stupid. I still didn't say a word. It's probably killing him. The supervisor told him later on that he needed to shut up about it. We'll see what this week brings.

Went to London a couple of weeks ago. Part of my time was taken up with planning and traveling. Jet lag wasn't an issue going there (thank God). Coming back was a completely different story. I felt stoned. I had been up for 24 hours, but things were just odd. The next day, I had a hangover. No alcohol was involved, but it sure felt like it.

There's so much to say about the trip to London. I may make it a separate blog post all its own. It deserves it.

Thanksgiving day was cute. My son comes up to me and sits in my lap. I ask him if he knew what day it was. He did. He said, "It's a day that we are thankful for what we have." I asked him what he was thankful for. His response was, "Pizza." No big surprise there. His second thing was "video games". Completely on par with what he does. After that it was "Mom and Dad." Then he decided having a house was nice, so we wouldn't have to live in an apartment. Out of the mouths of babes.

I've been spending a lot of time playing Legend of the Green Dragon. It's a fun game. If you'd like to play go here ( http://winterly.bluevine.net/referral.php?r=Agatha ). Now if I only knew how to hide links in my blog, it would be a hot link. Either way, I've been having a good time. Come play if you get a chance.

Life has been good. It's about to get hectic for a month. It will be nice and slow again after Christmas. Hopefully I can catch up sometime between now and then. I need to detail my London trip while I can still remember it.

Hope your holiday season gives you much joy and happiness, peeps.

Blogging as a defense

2005-09-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

Who knew that keeping a blog was going to allow me to be able to defend myself?

I decided that the harassment had to stop. I found out on Wednesday from a coworker (and conformed by my supervisor), that the newest level of harassment was going to have the coworker give a new Hellfire shirt to the cafeteria lady and have her wear it in front of me. I decided that I had to put a stop to this. I asked my branch head to put a stop to it, or I was going to go to the division head (his boss). He called the two men into his office and told them to put a stop to their tactics. He thought it was over at that point. The guy actually giving out the shirts called in sick this morning, and didn't come in to work (big surprise). The other guy came into my office in an agressive manner. He then proceeded to ask me if I was filing a suit. I told him that I had told our boss that he needed to put a stop to the harassment. He and I were disagreeing over the amount of said harassment. He felt that I had brought it on by confronting them the first time about why I didn't get a shirt. He had the gall to lie to me and tell me that it was just a mistake and that the coworker just "forgot" to get me one. I have had someone who most likely is in the know tell me that that was a lie. If it were true, when I confronted them, he would've said, "Oh, you're right. I just forgot. I'll get you one soon."

Then, the guy in my office proceeded to threaten me. He told me he went to the JAG office as well as some other Naval office to make sure that if I filed an EEO complaint, that he would "protect himself". I asked him what that other office was, since I had never heard of it (and can't remember), and he told me that they govern, among other things, internet usage. Considering that we are civilian employees, everything that would happen to him would come through HR instead of JAG. I guess it's a throwback to his Navy chief days. Anyway, he told me that if I filed suit, he was going to have me investigated for improper use of my computer for personal use. He was trying to claim that I spend 5 hours a day on my computer on the internet. That's impossible. My boss knows that I use it during lunch and breaks. Extra usage happens if we are slow and have no work, or I'm told to hang out in my office by my supervisor, while waiting on an engineer or some other project head. My branch head has absolutely no problems with my internet usage. However, what this guy fails to realize is that there are times that I am on my computer for actual business that he is unaware of. Either way, I have no fear that I am doing anything wrong. Even if he has me investigated, and they decide that I spend too much time on the internet, then so be it. I told him that I would not be threatened in my office, nor be blackmailed to keep from filing a suit if that's what I felt like I needed to do. I went straight to the branch head and notified our division head.

She spoke with him first as I was out in the field. During my conversation with her in her office later on, she became aware that the harassment had been going on for over a month. She was under the impression that it was only for a week. I told her I could provide her with approximate dates, as I kept a blog. She asked me to send them to her, so I did.

She later came into my office and asked me if I wanted to file an official complaint, or if I just wanted to drop it. I decided to file an official complaint against the guy who threatened me in my office. I have not filed one with regards to the guy who actually handed out the shirts. My boss asked him to cut it out, and since he is not here and will be gone on vacation for 2 weeks, I need to give him the opportunity to do what our boss asked him to do.

I've got a supportive boss. He has no problems if both of these men left the branch, one of whom has been around for a long time and is a senior technician. He fully supports me in this, which is good.

Now, I'm more concerned with the fact that the guy in my office today has proceeded to spread (I'm sure) all sorts of stuff about why I am complaining. He is out of the office for the next two weeks as well, so it could get real interesting when he gets back.

Harassment and Stalkers

2005-09-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

At what point do you decide that good-natured teasing becomes bad-natured teasing becomes harassment becomes hostile workplace? At least I don't feel like I'm alone in this. One of the guys I work with has taken things to the point that I feel is harassment. I feel like I might be overreacting, but it's hard to tell. My spouse feels like it is harassment. A couple of the women I work with have complained to my supervisor in support. They actually brought up the situation to me. I wasn't complaining to them about it. That isn't to say that I didn't voice my complaints once they said something.

Still, it feels like if I say something to the supervisor that I'm just acting like I'm not part of the right clique, or that I'm the unpopular one. It reminds me of my 4th grade year at elementary school. It was the one and only time I have ever been sent to the principal's office. These guys kept picking on me, and I was fed up with it. The teacher sent us outside to 'talk it out'. Of course, that didn't work. One of them called me names. Then the teacher sent us to the principal's office and the one who called me names lied to the principal and said that I called him those names. I was bawling because I was in trouble. I got a warning and was told if it continued that I'd be suspended. Needless to say, I held great animosity for this guy all the way through high school. I wonder if he ever grew up.

I wonder if that's the problem with this guy who seems to be stalking me. He's overly complimentary to me. He was just friendly for a while and I shared some more personal information about me. However, he's never forgotten any of it, and posts references to it frequently on internet forums. He could just be a guy that has no social graces. He sent me an email doing the whole praise thing and pushing me to post pictures (we used to do that until this guy got scary). I told him that he sounded like a stalker. He sent me an email back promising to never contact me again. Now I feel like I overreacted. I told him he was welcome on the forum that we started, but he just needs to tone it down a little. Still, people can scare you sometimes.

So, obviously, this isn't a great week for me.

On the upside, I bought a new iPod nano. Well, I've ordered it. According to apple, it's supposed to ship on or before tomorrow. Considering that it is 7 p.m., I'm guessing it's not going to happen before tomorrow. What's funny is that what prompted me to buy the nano was the fact that my iRiver (256 mb) disappeared. I looked for over a month for this thing. The house was clean (at least, cleaner than it usually is) and I couldn't find it. I tore apart the sofa looking for it. No luck. A week after I order the nano, I found my player in my son's closet. I'm guessing one of his friends saw it in the living room and took it to my son's room. So, it was in the closet, with the door closed. Considering I rarely have a need to look in there, it's a wonder I ever found it. So, my husband gets to get another of my electronic hand-me-downs.

General Updates and Time Wasting

2005-09-22T12:08:00.000-07:00

I didn't blow up. I guess that's a good thing. If I hadn't asked a question, I very well may have. So, instead, we aren't even doing anything with that propellant until further study can be done on it, due to safety's sake. However, I could end up with a really cool Nomex jump suit out of the deal.

I still work with an asshole. Now, he's starting to take it to the level of harassment. I worked on my day off, as a favor for an engineer that I like, but benefits a jerk that has treated me like crap. One of our new hires, who has been here a whopping two weeks, has gotten a Hellfire shirt for the work that he's done on the program. He's been here THREE WEEKS! This is the same program that I have put in hours and hours and hours, but was told by the team lead in our branch that the shirts were for work done in 2004. Now, the new guy wasn't here in 2004. He's put in approximately 2 weeks worth of work in a live environment. He now has a shirt. He wore it to this morning's meeting. I don't begrudge him getting a shirt. He had his coveralls on, completely covering his shirt. The team lead had him unbutton his coveralls and tie the top around his waist, so I could see him in his new t-shirt. That definately borders on harassment. He's such a prick. I didn't say a word. I didn't even look in that direction.

On a positive side, I'm getting an iPod Nano. I lost my 256mg iRiver, and I wanted a flash mp3 player with a larger capacity. The nano seems to be it. We'll see. Right now, I'm waiting for it to ship. So, I'm playing with iTunes, figuring things out.

Wish me luck, for tomorrow, I might blow up

2005-09-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a propellant mix today. I'm making a mix that requires 2 days to properly mix the ingredients. The first day is finished. Now, I have to start another mix, and run 2 simultaneously, because we're going to combine the two ingredients.

Well, turns out, the second mix hasn't been approved by the proper committee before scaling it up to the size I am supposed to be mixing it. Also, turns out, that this stuff is hella sensitive (and I can't believe I used the word 'hella'. Andrew must be rubbing off on me). We have to take all sorts of extra precautions. My boss wasn't real happy when he heard about what was sprung on us at, effectively the last moment (we all thought that the committee had approved it). So, we're going to have a meeting about it in the morning.

I'm so glad I asked questions. If I hadn't, we all would've been unaware.

So let that be a lesson to you. Always make sure you ask, "Will this blow me up?"

It's Most Definately a Monday

2005-08-22T14:56:00.000-07:00

Why do things invariably go wrong on a Monday? Is it just that we notice it more, or that it bothers us more on a Monday? Maybe it's just that we don't want to be at work.

Right now, I'd love to be home. I've had enough with crappy co-workers and things going wrong.

We've got some equipment that someone damaged, but didn't tell anyone. It might not have been someone in our branch, but odds are greater that it was. And, to top it off, I need to use it tomorrow. I've got to ask one of the welders in the maintenance department to work overtime to get it fixed, if he can't fix it by 9 a.m. tomorrow.

Last week, the program lead in our branch handed out t-shirts for a warhead I helped develop, Hellfire Variant N. On the first 100+ units, I had my hands on each and every single one. I was co-lead on the program. The program sat dormant for a year. When the program started back up, the other co-lead must not have wanted me on the program. I didn't mind so much, since there was a lot more for me to learn within the branch and other programs to work on. So, my involvement in the program was much less. Still, I have worked on the program off and on, just not in the same capacity. Did I get a shirt? No. Our inventory manager, who mainly pushes paper, got a shirt. When I asked about it, I was told by the other co-lead, "This was for work done in 2004." When I mentioned that I worked on the program in 2004, he said I didn't. So, my contribution to getting the program running, and WORKING, is not even acknowledged. Never mind the fact that I have a published technical paper (co-author) on the very program. My contribution is worthless. So, people are wearing their t-shirts, and I'm biting my tongue.

That piece of equipment that is broken....I was talking with the welder about it. He was saying that he needed this stuff earlier, to get things fixed. I mentioned that we just found out about it. I asked if he could get it done by 9. The co-lead.....he says, "I'll give you a Hellfire t-shirt if you'll get it fixed." He did it just to slam me. I bit my tongue, counted to 10 (and then some), and said, "Cecil, you're number 1." And then I walked out. I so much wanted to say something more.

He's such a piece of shit.

Oh, and to top it all off, just after I posted this, one of the guys who witnessed it, comes into my office and tells me not to show that it bothers me. So, I have to live with being treated like shit, purely for someone else's enjoyment, and let him continue to slam me. Walking out was the best thing I could do under the circumstances.

Replies to my Blog

2005-08-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

I almost typed that title as "Replies to my Blob". I wonder what kind of Freudian slip that was.....eek! So, exactly, what part of the body is the blob? Or does it creep, it leaps, it glides, it slides across the floor.....sorry got sidetracked there.

Anyway....I thank everyone for their comments. It's frustrating, though, because I can't reply to them.

So, to the guy that wanted to know how to make ringtones - I have a motorola, so I used motorola phone tools. Good luck - hope that helps.

To magicrat - I'm much better, thanks. I would've done McD's, but it was really busy and I didn't think about food poisoning. I guess I will now. Yeah, you can't miss me on the Happy Hour of the TiVo board. I do read some of the other forums there, but I don't post much in them. As far as posting at RC, I haven't been there in a very, very long time. After my pictures from there started showing up on the usenet, I decided that any trust that they would disappear was gone. That concept was the nice thing about RC. Once it was off the main page, that was it. Obviously someone thought my pictures were fair game to post elsewhere without permission, and that's too bad. So, I don't think I'll be going back. It just doesn't hold any interest for me anymore. I haven't taken any new pictures, partly because of it. Just no real desire to. Thanks for coming to the TiVo board. I'll see you around there. If you like tc, you might also try http://www.tcrebel.com/ Those of us that got fed up with some of the censorship have gone there. A picture or two of mine are around there as well, but not to the level of the RC pics.

And to the guys who responded to my men cheating statement - thanks for your replies. warren - yes, women cheat, but usually those who cheat, 75% are men, 25% are women. So, that's pretty much why I stereotyped. Of the 4 people that I know (have been with) that were cheating on their spouses, 75% were men and 25% were women. Amazing how that works out. :D Lars - sorry your needs aren't being met at home. Philly Bill - is there something you're not saying here? ;)

So, anyway, to all of you happy repliers - thanks. I like getting your comments. I just can't respond to them. So don't think you've been forgotten, because you most definately are not.

Oh, and MK - Love ya, babe! Hope your birthday was grand.

Airport Jumbalaya is bad news

2005-07-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

While traveling from visiting great friends in KC, I made a couple of passes through the DFW airport. The first time through, there wasn't time to get food, and by the time I got to KC, I was feeling rather woozy. So, on the way home, I had an hour or so layover, and I had time to get food in the food court.

So, I stroll down, looking at my choices - McD's, Taco Bell, I Can't Believe It's Yogurt, Popeyes, and some sub shop (no-name). I've never eaten at a Popeyes, and whenever some of my internet friends talk about fast food chicken, they mention that they like it. (I always say El Pollo Loco :D) So, I go over, and see that they have jumbalaya. I wasn't in the mood for fried chicken, but this sounded perfect.

I take my rice, biscuit and soda and sit down to eat. It all tastes good. The rice isn't hot, per se, but it's warm, and has chicken and sausage bits in it. I finish it, the biscuit (very buttery) and throw away my trash.

Monday evening, not feeling so hot. Now, to be fair, It's possible that the Whopper Jr I had on the way home from the airport (around 7 p.m. Sunday night) might've been the culprit, but it was very hot. I'm thinking it was the rice. After spending waaaaaaay too much time in the bathroom Monday, and some of Tuesday, my trips are no longer frequent, for which I'm grateful. However, my tummy is still rumbly, and and tender. Some of the tenderness is going away.

Of course, I ended up having to take 3 days off of work this week, during an INCREDIBLY busy week at work. I feel guilty. However, I know if I tried to work yesterday during the 108°F heat, I was going to die. I know this from experience after a previous intestinal bout. So, I stayed home.

I'm going back in today. It should be an easy day at work, and half of it will be in a training class on fault tree analysis. Why the Division Head wants me to attend is unknown, as she is the one who signed me up for it, but, I'm going.

I suck at keeping secrets

2005-07-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

I ended up having to tell my secret. To the one person who I was wanting to suprise the most.

I'm going to visit my friend, Dana. I am staying at Dana's house. Of course, when I was making my plans to surprise him, he didn't know that. :-) He wasn't going to know, until he kept telling lots of people that there was room at his house to stay. I was concerned that he wouldn't have room for me, so I had to tell him.

So, now....I'm going to Kansas City. Kansas City, here I come.

Now, all I need is a spiffy hat, and I'm ready to hit the jazz clubs.

I just realized something!

2005-06-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Not that it takes a lot to realize something......

I was reading through my previous posts to my blog, and came across one about how I got into swinging. I had talked with one guy about possibly playing together (well, mostly fantasizing), but it never came to fruition.

Until last month. heh heh heh. So, I finally got to complete the circle with the one I was going to play with first (if that makes any sense). I was glad it happened, and I'm hoping it will happen again. It probably won't happen for a long time, as opportunities are few and far between.

However, he sent me an email which cracked me up. He said, "I always wanted a fuck buddy. Now I finally have one."

Biting my tongue

2005-06-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ever had a secret that you really wanted to share? It's a great secret, and it will harm no one. However, it will ruin a nice surprise.

arrrrrrrrgh!

Ring Tones

2005-06-18T16:06:00.000-07:00

Since I got my new phone, I enjoy playing with ring tones. With my first cell phone, it was custom covers. My previous phone had polyphonic ringtones, but the new one does mp3's. So, I decided to buy the software and cable to download mp3's into my phone instead of paying $2.49 per ringtone.

I only wish the cellphone would allow me to delete the tones that come standard with the phone. Those things just take up space and are annoying. :-)

I can delete the ones I bought, but I can't back them up to my computer, so if I want to delete them for space, I'm out of luck.

Oh well, such is life.

Now, to find a leash for the damned thing, since I keep dropping it.

Vacation!!!!

2005-06-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

We're about to set off tomorrow for a few days' stay in Vegas.

We're meeting up with a bunch of friends and just can't wait.

Of course, an engineer in my branch really wanted me to do some work this weekend, because he just couldn't wait a week for me to get back from vacation. He wants some explosives hydraulicly pressed out of an aluminum housing. I'm the only one with the certifications to be able to do it. We tried to do this once, already, and it didn't work. He made the mistake of casting some explosives into a mold, with just a spray of a release agent. His release agent didn't work, and the stuff is bonded to the metal. He wants to try and kluge something together, in hopes it will work. I pretty much told him I didn't have the time to come in. He reluctantly agreed to wait until after vacation. That will at least give him some time to run his new idea in front of the safety department. I shouldn't be surprised at his attitude, though, as he tried to bring me back from Christmas vacation a few years ago.

My coworker looked at me and said, "Run Forrest, Run!" :-)

So, I'm off on vacation. I haven't even begun to pack, but I know what I want to pack. Oh well.

On a side note....I digitized a casette tape that I own. It was a recording of my All-State choir. So, now, I can send a copy of it to my mom. She'll love it, and not have a fear of damaging the cassette tape.

Reading Reading Reading

2005-05-27T22:56:00.000-07:00

I so love to read. I can't help it. It's a compulsion. Whenever I go to the store, it is rare that I don't buy a book, or three.

It hasn't been busy at work this past week. I ended up working in a building that I haven't worked in for a long while. The job consists of filling a chute with material, and watching a machine move back and forth for 25 minutes, the refilling. It's not my usual work, but it becomes drudgery rather quickly. So, I took the opportunity to read 2 books in 2 days. I always like getting to read.

How many married men cheat?

2005-05-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

Granted, I'm not the best judge, since I'm a swinger. I just am amazed from time to time how many married men are willing to cheat on their spouses. Before I started swinging, I figured those men were in unhpappy marriages, or they just weren't good guys to begin with. Now, I've been with a few married men (yes, I know. That makes me a bad person), who are great guys. They're happy in their marriage, and have no plans on ending it. So why do they cheat?

I don't cheat on my spouse, even though I have been with men when he's not there. However, he is aware, and asked permission, BEFORE doing anything with them. We've got a strong marriage. Heck, we just celebrated our 12th anniversary on Sunday.

Still, it's the kind of thing that makes me think.

I love my new phone

2005-05-09T20:35:00.000-07:00

Since I work on base, I can't have a nifty camera phone. However, I prefer flip phones, so my choices were very limited. I picked up a Motorola V180 over the weekend. It's got a tri-band, so my hubby can take it with him out of the country (he's possibly going to Germany, and will be going to England and possibly the French Riviera in the next year or so).

However, what really makes it cool is the fact that it will play mp3's. So fun! Whilst perusing ring tones, I found a fun song called "All day long I dream about sex". What a perfect ring tone!

One jerk leaves, another one takes his place

2005-03-23T20:41:00.000-08:00

or.....Nature abhors a Vacuum.

There's a guy that I work with (nicknamed Rocky - that should tell you something - oh, and he also used to have a mullet! but didn't know what that was until I explained it to him - I guess that should've been a clue) that I used to have a good opinion of. That has changed, as of today. A few weeks ago, we had a meeting with our new department manager. She is a wonderful manager, from what everyone in her previous department has told me. She is learning what we do, since she hasn't worked in our department before. She's having a series of meetings with my branch, getting to know our work. During our last meeting, she made the statement that whatever was said at the meeting wouldn't be held against us (i.e. safety issues that are problems, rules we're violating due to silly SOP's or other reasons, etc.). I told her that I didn't expect there to be problems from managers holding what we said in the meeting against us. I was more worried about what my coworkers would hold against us. I was right.

My family is accident prone. It's mainly a joke. However, when we get injured, we seem to get injured in stupid, and very large ways (i.e. my mother has caught fire, and my grandmother has caught fire TWICE). I have a tendency to trip on things. When stepping over stuff, I don't raise my 'trailing' foot high enough, and catch my toes on it and trip.

During the meeting, I mentioned that I was accident prone. Mainly, I was stating that I trip over these major trip hazards in a specific location that no one else seems to trip over. Mostly, I attribute that to my height. Still, I made the statement at this meeting, and that we needed to do something about the safety hazards. Another coworker said that he was a walking time-bomb, in a joking manner. He was basically talking about the fact that he has lived longer than any other male in his family, so he's on "borrowed" time. He has some health problems, but nothing that would compromise safety or anything.

So, the jerk was supposed to work with us on Tuesday. He went to our supervisor and asked to be reassigned. His stated reason was that he "didn't want to work with the 2 most dangerous people in the branch." I talked to him about it. He told me it was directly related to my "accident prone" statement in our branch meeting. I asked him if he had ever seen me do something that he felt was unsafe. His response was that I was involved in many of the incidents that had occurred. These were incidents where a person I was with did something stupid, and I lost my certifications because I was there (department policy - everyone present loses their certifications). I have never lost my certifications for something that I did. I asked him if he was holding these other people's actions against me. He kinda side-stepped that issue. I asked again if he had ever seen me do something that he felt was unsafe. He responded no. At that point, I said "thank you" and left his office. At no point was I rude or overly agressive. I didn't yell or cause a major scene. But it angered the crap out of me that he is such a collossal waste of air.

I decided to talk with my supervisor. Apparently, the actual statement about me being unsafe wasn't stated to the supervisor, but to another coworker. I felt that the jerk coworker thinks entirely too highly of himself. Problem is, the jerk seems to be being 'groomed' for the supervisor's position when he retires. That scares the crap out of me. Before all of this, just last week, I stated that I would be unhappy about him being supervisor due to his flying off the handle very easily and overreacting to things. He would never be able to be objective about anything. If it happens, I'll be looking for a job elsewhere on base. I told the same thing to my supervisor. His response was that there seems to be a problem with the jerk lately, and that he's going to be talking to the department manager. He was going to tell me something else, between the two of us, but one of our engineers walked up and didn't seem to want to leave, so he stopped talking about it.

One of the guys I was working with (one of the 3 of us that was working that day, who *wasn't* considered to be unsafe by the jerk) just feels that the jerk wanted to get out of doing real work.

-----------------
on a side note

I was watching South Park tonight. They had Wing on. Look for her music website (she's in New Zealand). She is hysterical. I can't decide if it is the world's biggest joke, or if it's totally serious. Either way, very funny.

The Old Man is Snoring

2005-02-22T15:20:00.000-08:00

It's raining here in the desert. And it keeps on raining. The desert is green. The sand is green. The desert is growing grass. And still it keeps on raining. We're going to have a bumper crop of wildflowers this year, as well as poppies. Next year, if we have a drought, though, we're gonna burn like there's no tomorrow.

I need to learn to meditate

2005-02-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

I've decided that meditating would be good for me. I'm just not horribly sure how to go about it. I've thought about journaling, but, as evidenced my my non-frequent posting to this blog, I don't stick with it. I always feel stupid. I used to keep a dream diary - same issues as the journal. Still, it sounds like a good idea, so I'll probably go out and buy a nice notebook, keep thoughts for about a day and a half, until I get sidetracked by something else, and forget where I stuck the damned thing. This is why I think meditation would be good for me - no book to lose.

Various updates - no federal witnessing for me. Most of us were released by the judge. The hearing was supposed to be yesterday, but it's gotten pushed back to the end of the month. I need to pay bills. Maybe I'll balance my checkbook at lunch to make it easier. However, I have to go to church tonight, so I'll probably be up late paying them if I do it tonight. I really need to have the car smogged. It's due in 11 days for tags. We seriously need to hire new people at work. With 2 having no certifications due to a mixer bowl foulup, we're up to our ears in work and no one to do it. My branch head and supervisor were out in coveralls with me on a mix. I didn't have the certification (hence the supervisor who did), but I was leading it anyway. We're working on getting me my cert, but the cert board is never around to make a large enough quorum to certify me.

It's Friday and I'm happy

2005-01-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I got wonderful news at work. One of my co-workers, who is a major pain in the ass, got a job in another branch. I feel sorry for my husband, because he's in the branch that the ass is going to. Yesterday, though, was exhausting. I had to work with the pain in the ass all day, and he was on a roll. He likes to show off, and we had someone who he didn't know, so he had to 'puff up' and show how smart he is. He's not as smart as he thinks he is, so it gets annoying really quickly. I was exhausted by 2 o'clock. We were finally able to get a lunch break then. I took 30 minutes to scarf my lunch (as well as file paperwork and talk to the customer who was disappointed with the fact that the pain in the ass was a pain in the ass), and I felt so much better just being away from him.

Even more wonderful is the fact that his father-in-law, another pain in the ass that worked with us, was almost fired, and was removed from our branch and works somewhere else. This is probably what prompted the pain in the ass I was discussing above to change jobs. Yea! My boss was looking for a way to get rid of one or both of them. I'm sure his stress level is much lower now. The only real downside is the fact that we've fired/lost 4 people in a manner of months, and we needed to hire people already. We're now short handed, and we've got 2 that had their certifications removed for an incident (I don't think it will be long, though), so we're really up a creek. Anybody need a job making bombs? We're hiring. :-)

On a side note, I love my son's resource teacher at school. She wants to buy him a desktop word processor (called an Alphasmart) for school and another one for home, to make his homework easier for him. She volunteered this one, I didn't have to ask (I figured I would in the coming years). She's a great person and I'm incredibly thankful that the school has her. I need to write a letter to the principal, letting him know. I told her today what a wonderful person she is and how thankful I am, but I need to make sure that goes up the chain of command.

You are a Federal Witness.....

2005-01-19T21:10:00.000-08:00

I got an interesting email yesterday at work. Let me tell you the backstory. One of my coworkers got fired a couple of months back. He was a co-op employee. All he had to do was get an Associates Degree. They wanted him to get it in 2 years, but the program allows for three. All he had to do was maintain a 2.5 (or was it 2.8?) GPA and take 6 hours a semester. He didn't finish after 3, but got a 1 year extension. He didn't finish after 4. He applied for another extension. He enrolled in 1 credit hour, and that class was cancelled. So, he wasn't taking anything, and was on his 5th year. They fired him. He is claiming it is racially motivated, due to the fact that he has has a different skin tone. He also had multiple problems while on the job. The base crossed all of their t's and dotted all of their i's, because he had made it known from the first day of hire that he would file lawsuits if he hadn't gotten hired. He has pulled the race card at every opportunity, unfortunately. So, he was fired with HR in attendance. Still, he has filed a claim. I was sent an email stating that I could be called up as a witness in the hearing. See, I was a co-op student as well, and started the same day as this individual. I got my degree, and I've gotten 2 more promotions (after the initial promotion upon graduation) since then. I'm pretty sure I'm not a witness for him. I'll know for certain ny the end of the month.

On another note, we managed to get rid of an individual who has worked for our branch for a looooooong time. He's been a thorn. Problem is, he knows his stuff, and gets it done. He just takes shortcuts when he shouldn't, and takes them often. He also has made several stupid mistakes recently, and got caught lying to a big-wig about it. He's gotten transferred to another branch and all of his explosive certifications removed. It was a good thing.

So....anybody want a job? We're hiring 4 people. Money's good. Low crime area. Downsides? It's in the middle of nowhere where it gets over 115F in the summer. Job can be considered dangerous. Blowing up is a bad thing, but something you need to worry about.

You're Grounded!

2005-01-05T18:46:00.000-08:00

Stress, stress, stress and more stress at work. Mostly, I needed to be in 3 places at one time and the substitute supervisor didn't give me anyone to work with. Later on, when I asked him for help, he got angry with me. One of the things I was working on was getting a laptop configured correctly with our government computer system for one of our engineers who is about to go on some extremely long leave (thinking 2-3 months). His father is ill and he'll be nursing his father. So, his flight leaves Friday and I'm trying to get this configured. Unfortunately, I've got a job planned that I am supposed to be leading. I didn't have the time to get all of the work done. When I asked for help, he wanted to know why I was working with the computer thing. Working with the computers is part of my job (it's an added one that gets me more kudos which translates into more money at the end of the year), so I'm really the only one who can do it. He asked who told me to do it, and I told him that our boss did. So, then, he gets mad at me for doing what our boss told me to do instead of what he told me to do. It got ugly from there. He started talking 'down' to me, and even made the statement, "Do you understand me? Do you understand what I'm saying?" I was waiting for him to ground me. He was treating me exactly like my father did when I was 12. It really pissed me off. Especially, given the fact that the guy is only subbing since our supervisor is on vacation and that this guy and I are on an even level as far as our jobs (although I'm not sure he realizes that yet). I miss my old supervisor. HE would've been all over trying to help me instead of yelling at me. My boss actually came to me and apologized for putting me in that situation.

Thoughts these days

2004-12-28T07:46:00.000-08:00

Well, the holidays are over. At least the ones where I have to travel or buy gifts. No worries until the next birthday (which is in February - 3 of them, actually). Still, I don't have to worry about having a lists of things to buy and people to buy them for. For Christmas, I had to buy for 21 people. No one really got a great Christmas from me (us, actually) this year. My son didn't do too badly, though.

Speaking of, one of my son's gifts was a bike from Santa. He's growing up and needed a bigger bike soon, so Santa gave him a red one with flames! (go Santa - and rumor has it that it only cost $25 in elves' wages!) My son also got a Laker jacket from us. It was a $50 jacket on sale for $35 or $40 (I can't recall exactly). He wore it to daycare yesterday, and somehow managed to lose it on the playground. We looked. He looked. Other students looked. The teacher looked. It was nowhere to be found. He is notoriously bad for losing his things. He had the jacket all of 2 days, and he lost it. So, when he got home, he was punished for not putting his jacket in his cubby where it belonged. No TV, no Game Cube, no computer. This morning, I mentioned that it was lost, and if it was outside, it was waterlogged due to it raining. At which point, one of the teachers (who had gone home when we picked him up) mentioned that she had put it in the dryer the morning before because it had gotten wet on the playground. She had told other teachers, but the information hadn't gotten forwarded to the right one, I guess. So, we punished our son for something that wasn't his fault. He took it really well. I was rather impressed, actually. Still, I feel bad. He even took it well last night. He didn't have a meltdown when he found out he was punished for something not his fault. He even took the punishment well. No tears for any of it. I am really impressed. He's learning to control it.

In other news, I got a promotion and a big, fat raise at work. I hadn't really told anyone at work, because many wouldn't take it well. I wasn't keeping it a secret, but I just wasn't sharing it. It came up about 2 months after the promotion in conversation, and I had a chance to not say anything (coworker joking that I got a promotion just to get another one upset). I decided that it was better to admit that I actually got the promotion than keeping it a secret. Sad news, my kitten died 5 months from the day of his birth. He somehow got injured - concussion - and ended up having to be put to sleep. He was in agony all day at the vet (they did give him pain meds), and wasn't coming around. I think one of my dogs thumped him on the head when he was eating their food. My son helped me bury the kitty (husband was out of town) and took it quite well. I felt guilty for a little while, wondering if I had waited it out that he would've come around. I finally prayed about it a little, and was able to let it go. Still, it makes me sad. I want another kitten, though. I'll probably wait until the older dog goes, though, unless an opportunity presents itself (like getting the kitten in the first place). We had planned on waiting until our dog was gone before we got one, then we got another dog. Still, the kitty did well with them. I just think my older dog overreacted a smidge (the younger dog will sneak in his bowl just for the heck of it) and was thinking it was the dog and not the kitten.

I Have Cramps!

2004-12-06T17:17:00.000-08:00

I decided that with all of the time that I seem to NOT have this holiday season, I would write my Christmas cards at lunch at work.

I ended up with a thumb cramp. That tells you that I really don't write much, anymore, since the advent of computers. It's kinda hard to put a blog in each card. I guess I could do the cheesy newsletters and just send a bulk one, but that just seems impersonal. So, instead, I suffered through writers cramp for about an hour.

I can tell it's Monday, though. I forgot my badge at work. Normally, for most people, this isn't too much of a hardship. All you have to do is go to the visitor's center, show them your driver's license, and they give you a temporary. However, since I am a woman, and I work out in the field, driving a truck, I carry my driver's license WITH my badge (i.e. as one unit). So, I had no picture ID at all. I had to have my boss send someone with it to the front gate so I could come in to work this morning. I ended up being more than a half hour late. Thankfully, he tore up my leave slip, so I didn't have to burn a half hour of vacation time. He's a cool guy. However, I am an idiot.

Maybe it's time for me to get my passport. I promise not to smile.

Holidays are for families, stupid!

2004-11-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

What is it about holidays? Why do we make pilgrimages to see family? Sometimes I wonder.

We decided to go spend a week with my parents in the Oklahoma. Flying from California made for a long day. We had made all of these plans for things to do and places to go. Then my dad's sister decides to show up for the week. My aunt is a very sweet lady. However, she is slower than a glacier. Because of her visit, we didn't get to do hardly anything that we wanted to do. We had to keep in mind the fact that she moves very slowly. I had planned on going shopping, but felt it would be rude to leave her behind, so we didn't go. I had planned on going to my grandmother's farm, but didn't make that trip, either. We went to a museum, where she only saw the first couple of rooms, then spent the rest of the time sitting down, while we went to the rest of the museum. We went to the movies. Any other plans I had made went down the drain when all of my other relatives from across the country decided to make the pilgrimage to my parents house. I've seen some of these people only a few times in my life, some I have never met. So we ended up with 26 people for dinner. There never was a time that we didn't have some relative of mine in the house.

The family I really wanted to see, the family I was close to, I only got to spend minutes with, it seemed. Since my dad's family descended upon us, they stayed away (they're my mom's family and those that live close). I wanted to spend time with my grandma because she is 91 years old and I may never get to see her alive again. Instead, I got to spend the time with an aunt who carries a photo album of a ceramic razorback that she dresses up according to the season and it sits in her front yard. She was showing off the pictures like a proud grandma. She has several grandchildren. I never saw a picture of them. Only saw pictures (multiple times!!!) of the pig. She makes clothes for the pig. Seriously.

The sad thing about my aunt, is she used to be a junior high school science teacher. Watching her made me realize that students in her Arkansas town really got a bad education. I don't know how she managed to lecture fast enough for the kids to actually get all of the information that they were supposed to. Scary incident occurred the other night. She had a balloon. She was trying to demonstrate static electricity to my 10 year old nephew. She rubbed the balloon on his head and then stuck it to the wall. When that didn't work, she figured she hadn't generated enough static, so she rubbed my nephew's head again with the balloon. Still didn't work. She seemed a bit stymied as to why. I guess she just figured that the room wasn't dry enough due to the rain outside. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that she was using a HELIUM filled balloon, could it? The helium kept trying to make the balloon rise, and not stick to the middle of the wall where she kept placing it. It was very sad. My sister and I, as well as several of her husband's relatives (we were at a birthday party), were laughing at her. I felt bad for laughing at her. I felt bad for making fun of her. However, I was amazed that she could be that stupid. I'm glad I live far away from her. I don't think I could handle her on a routine basis.

I told my mom that I probably won't go out there for a holiday again. It kept us from doing any real visiting. My dad always reverts to a couch potato watching football when his family comes over. I got to spend about 30 minutes with him playing guitar, which we both enjoyed. He wanted to do it again, but too many relatives kept it from happening. Instead, he firmly planted his backside on the sofa and grunted mono-syllabic responses to any conversation thrown his way. I guess it's one defense against my aunt.

Again, Life gets in the way

2004-10-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

Life has been hectic. Frequently, obligations getting in the way of posting.

Driving 3 hours out of town (each way) for an hour of OT for my son (which is playing on a playground, essentially) could get old real quick. He enjoys it, so I shouldn't compain too much. He just hates the drive back because he gets bored. Unfortunately, he also gets carsick, so no watching movies.

I've picked up the guitar again and I'm building my callouses daily. I've now lost sensation on 3 fingertips of my left hand. Which, I guess, is a good thing. I'm getting better at it, though. I used to be able to strum better than I currently am, which is disappointing. I hope I get better at it, soon.

on another note.....

We got a kitten. He is a very people oriented kitty. He's about 3 months old, now. He's such a loving kitty. Not bright, as he just stuck his head in the toilet when my hubby was peeing. So the cat ended up with a stream of urine all over his back. He didn't like the bath too much. He also has this tendency to try and stick his face into my food if I'm not eating at the kitchen table. If I'm snacking on the sofa, his face is RIGHT THERE!

I gained some weight over the past year after losing 70 pounds 2 years ago. I started stress eating, then falling back into old habits. So I've got 30 pounds or so to lose. So far, I'm down 10 (in 2.5 weeks). Hopefully I can keep going at a decent rate. It would be nice if I was down another 15-20 in the next 6 weeks before thanksgiving. I try on some snug article of clothing to remind myself how much I lost and my plan to get back there. I'm working at it. Thank goodness for Jenny Craig!

These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

2004-09-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

Dreams are funny things. Some people feel that they are "windows to the soul" while others feel that it is just random nonsense that floats around in your brain.

During my sophomore year in college, I took Psych 101 (like just about everyone else). We had to write a dream diary. As well as writing our dreams, we also had to write what happened to us during the day. Many times, you could see correlations between the dreams and our waking activities. Many people didn't remember their dreams, but upon writing that down every morning when they first woke up, they started remembering bits and pieces more often.

From time to time, I get a bug up my ass and start keeping a dream diary. Why? I have no idea. It just seems interesting to me. One time, I went out and bought a "dream dictionary" to explain some of the recurring themes in my dreams. At least one element that used to occur frequently actually seems on target with the explanation in my dream dictionary. I used to dream that I was losing my teeth (I'm 32 now, but this was a few years ago) and I kept trying to jam them back in. Since this was a recurring element, I decided to look it up. The interpretation was that I was losing my metaphorical 'adolescent/teenager' teeth and becoming an adult. When I was a teenager, I used to dream those dreams where you've forgotten to wear your clothes to school....I don't have those anymore, either.

Last night, I dreamt that I had a government client who bought me a $2000 purse. My secretary took the tag that was inside (which is how I knew how much it was worth) and was going to have to let the ethics committee know about it, which meant I wasn't going to get to keep it. It was a nice purse. I also dreamt that my cousin, who is an only child, had a sister who was getting married. Her dress was a bit revealing. Basically, it was a body suit (not a full length one, mind you) underneath a stretchy lace kind of over dress. Very odd. I was also walking around buildings at work with one of my engineers and we were looking at a seldom used building and comparing it to the SOP, noting that there were some parts missing in the SOP that needed updating. While we were walking, the engineer would pull out a can of hornet spray (the kind that sprays jets of fluid 15 feet in the air) and was aiming it at the BATS that were at the ceiling. One of them fell on my head. And, no, there aren't bats in the buildings where I work. At this point, my dream changed a bit, and there was a gunman shooting, while another guy and I were hiding in a bathroom (we had been given instructions to do so, while setting up a pseudo-trap). The guy I was with had a gun, but he never got a chance to use it. Also, at another stage in my dream, I was kissing one girl, while stroking the leg of another. Is it odd that the leg of the other was a lesbian co-worker of mine? Does that mean something?

All in all, nothing too exciting to report, aside from the lesbians. But does it mean anything?