I Am a Terrible Person

Went to the uncle's house for dinner this evening, like we always do. I wondered if it was going to be awkward. See, I called him a hypocrite last night. I should probably feel a bit bad about that. And I do, a little. He's been going on and on about "An Inconvenient Truth". He's almost religious with it. I am surprised at how fervent he is about the whole thing. I'm not quite as convinced as he is about it all, and I brought up a dissenting opinion. Things got a little heated. I told him that, while I might not believe that the whole thing is truth, or due to man, that doesn't stop me from decreasing my energy usage a bit. I asked him what he was doing. His response was "spreading the word." I asked if he was doing anything else to decrease his personal consumption, and he is not. I told him that he was a hypocrite. He said that his doing anything about it was a drop in the bucket and it wouldn't mean anything unless government does something first. I told him that enough people put drops in the bucket, it gets full. I don't know. The whole thing kinda makes me angry. If you think people should live their lives in a specific way, doesn't it make sense to seet an example instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you? For goodness sake, the man has 5 DVD burners (was 5 VHS recorders) running at all times. He's recording all sorts of stuff off of his DVR and satellite. There's no way he can watch it all. He's got 4 computers, and it is just him. He used to have just one, then it became 4 within a couple of months. The man is almost OCD.

Still, I feel guilty that I unloaded on him. He is an incredibly sweet man, and lonely. I think old age is creeping up on him in the way it did to my grandmother. You isolate yourself and you start getting more and more extreme in your beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are. This man was very good to us through college. He gave us money every month that allowed us to see the occasional movie and keep our heads above water. We tried to pay him back, but he won't hear of it. We got a bit extravagant for his birthday this year and bought him an expensive BBQ grill. It's aobut the only way we can pay him back for his generosity.

I guess that's what makes me a heel. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I don't know why I didn't just back out of that fight. If it were my grandmother, I would have. This man isn't even remotely close to that old, so I don't think of him that way. I do now, though. It explains a lot.

I guess I owe him an apology. He hugged me last night as he left, even after we argued, so I don't think he holds it against me all that much.


Shit.